Chapter 24

Silvery moonlight filtered through the opening where the drapes didn’t quite come together across the wide window.  Her straw hat lay on the desk next to his overturned Stetson.  Her dress and his jacket were draped haphazardly over the chair in the corner.  The rest of their clothes made a messy trail from the door to the bed.   They were lying crosswise on the bed, pulses racing, hearts pounding, like the hoof-beats of the horses that had run around the track just hours earlier.  Richie’s horse, the one he had put money on, California Chrome, had won the Derby and their celebration had carried over from Churchill Downs to their hotel room.

Stephanie rolled over, her body slick with perspiration, her hair a mangled mess from their frantic love making.  “Holy shit, Rich.”  She heaved in a breath and blew it out.  “Where did you…how did you…she sucked in another breath.  Just Holy.  Shit.”

“You okay there, darlin’?  You’re repeating yourself” Richie half chuckled, half mumbled with his face still buried under the pillows. 

“I lost some brain cells that time, I’m sure of it.”

Richie pulled the pillow from his head and rolled to look at her, “four orgasms too many for you, darlin’?”

Levering up on her elbows, she shook her head, pins from her no-longer-up do falling to the mattress, “not complaining, but four in rapid succession like that could kill a girl.”  Tossing her hair back she found his eyes with hers, “and just where did you learn to do that little trick with your tongue?”

He smirked and shook his head, “uh uh, not telling.”

She stuck her tongue out at him and playfully pouted, “meanie.”

Shifting closer, he stroked his hand up the inside of her thigh, “trust me, you don’t really want to know.”  He may have spent most of the 80s with one or more different women after each show and he definitely learned a thing or two, but he wasn’t about to go into details of that time with his wife.  Even if she was a fan and probably knew some of the stories, certain things were still better left unsaid.

He moved over her and settled between her thighs, “I can do it again” he wiggled his tongue at her, “practice makes perfect, you know.”

She laughed and pulled her knees up, knowing she would let him have his way with her.  She glanced down when her foot caught in the sheets, “hey,” she wiggled her foot to free it, “I still have my shoes on.”

Reaching for her ankle, he gently tugged the sexy peep toe stiletto from her foot and dropped it over the side of the bed.  Its mate soon followed with a soft thud, “I like the shoes” he murmured as he skimmed his lips up the inside of her leg and nibbling her thigh. 

“Why do you think I wear them?”  She managed to get out before his oh-so-talented tongue was on her and she was lost in a sea of sensation.

Later, sated and satisfied, they crawled to the top of the bed and pulled the blankets up.  She curled into him, sleep dragging at her.  “Love you, Rich.”

He wrapped himself around her, kissing her head, “love you too, darlin’.” 

YYYYYYYY

It was unusual for him to be awake and out of bed first, but the music tugged at him until he couldn’t ignore it.  He left her sleeping, pulling on loose cotton pants and settling on the couch.  His fingers moved swiftly across the page of his notebook, scribbling down his thoughts as quickly as they came to him.

The quiet strumming of the guitar and the low timbre voice teased her awake.  Keeping her eyes closed, she rolled over and hugged his pillow, just listening. 

First time we met, I must confess
That my heart was like an empty house
But the keys locked in my head
I will bide my time of need
You became my miracle
And my reason to believe
When the waves get rough
We can fall back on us
We'll be together
Forever all the way

Setting down his pencil, he started strumming, keeping his voice low and trying to work out the melody he could hear so clearly in his head. 

When we look back
At the landscape of our lives
There were moments that stood still for us
Like a Snapshot of our minds
There were things we could have done
Maybe wounds left unsaved
Still we kept our promise shining
And our passion in our bed

Moving closer to the edge of the bed, she strained to hear the words he was singing.  She loved listening to him like this, when he was unaware and lost in the moment. 

And when the waves get rough
We know that we've got us
I don't make many promises
But I'm promising you, yeah.

When there's no words left to say
Our love will find a way
We'll be together
Forever all the way

When she heard the guitar go quiet, she slipped out of bed, pulled her robe around her and snuck out to the couch.  She greeted him with a quiet “hey” not wanting to startle him.

Looking up he put the pencil down and set aside his guitar, “hey yourself sweetheart.”  He held out his hand to her, “come here.”

She moved to him, taking his hand, letting him pull her down on to the couch next to him.  “You’re up early.”

He shifted behind her and tucked his chin to her shoulder, nuzzling her neck.  “Couldn’t sleep, a song was brewing so I came out here to get it down.  Sorry I woke you.”

She turned her head, catching his lips with hers.  “Don’t apologize.  I love listening to you play and sing.  And I like what you’ve got so far.”

“Yeah?”

She nodded, “yeah.”

“Me too.”  His lips found hers again, the emotions stirred by the song translated to a long, slow kiss.  He let his feelings lead him, his fingers deftly loosening the tie on her robe, skimming over her, easing her back, down against the cushions.

There was no urgency this morning, no need to rush, just a powerful indescribable need to have her, to take her, to be surrounded by her.  He took his time, tasting her here, touching her there, pushing her to the brink before finally, finally burying himself inside her. 

Bracing himself on his elbows above her, he stared down at her.  “Open your eyes, darlin’.”

The witchy eyes he loved so much blinked and slowly opened, the green there nearly overtaken by the pupil dilated with desire.  “There’s my girl.”  He slowly pumped his hips, watching her face.  Her pretty lips dropped open and a small cry escaped as her muscles contracted around him.  “That’s right darlin’, let go, just let go.”  He kept his thrusts slow and controlled, prolonging their pleasure; and when she broke apart under him, he was helpless to do anything but join her.

Curled together she idly ran her fingertips up and down his arm.  She didn’t want to move.  If it wasn’t for the fact that they had to retrieve their daughter from her grandmother, she’d be happy to stay right here in the circle of his arms for the rest of forever. 

She sighed.

Richie squeezed her tight and looked down at her, “what’s wrong, sweetheart?”

“This weekend has been wonderful.  I almost hate to leave.”  The Derby had been more fun and exciting that she could have imagined.  The race itself the most exciting two minutes in sports that she could remember, but it was what had transpired in this room that she was most sad to leave.

“We can always come back next year.”  He pressed his lips to the crown of her head.

She frowned up at him, “you’re going to make me wait a whole year for a weekend like this again?”

His eyebrows furrowed together, “well the Derby only comes once a year, darlin’.”

Her hand snaked around and she pinched his butt before pushing him onto his back and straddling him.  “I wasn’t talking about the race.”

He cupped her bottom before sliding his hands up her sides, realization of what she meant dawning on him.  “Ah, I see.”  His hands cupped her breasts, his fingers teasing her nipples to hard points.  “You know we can do this at home too, right?”

She stared down at him, his brown eyes bright with mischief.  It was harder to find time at home now, between Lily, her Habitat projects and him writing and recording again.  She nearly frowned at the thought of him working with Ori.  Why does that woman bother me so much?

She wiggled her hips, trying to ignore the thoughts in her head.  He stirred under her.  “One more time before we have to go?”

He shifted under her, “you don’t know how good you are for my ego, sweetheart, but I’m old, I need more recovery time.”  He rubbed away the frown line between her brows, he didn’t like disappointing her.   One glance at her told him she was more than ready, her nipples were begging for his touch, her skin was flushed and pink, and he could feel her heat and wetness where she sat on his groin.  “Come up here.”  He pulled the pillow from behind his head, dropping it to the floor and wiggled down to lie flat on the couch.

Her eyes widened at his meaning and a sly, sexy smile crossed her face as she moved to straddle his face. 

Grinning when she complied, he peered up at her through her widespread knees, “hold on, darlin’.”

When she felt his tongue on the inside of her thigh, she grabbed the arm of the couch and lost herself to him once again.

Chapter 23

“Come on, Lily” Stephanie held out her hand and grasped Lily’s little fingers.  “Let’s go find daddy and see if he’s ready to go.”  Lily danced alongside her mother as they headed down the hall.  Their suitcases were packed and waiting by the front door.  All they needed was Richie and they could head off to the airport and their flight to New Jersey.  They were dropping Lily off to Richie’s mom before backtracking to Kentucky for the Derby. 

They found Richie in his music room/office on the phone with his trusty notebook open in front of him.  Before Stephanie could stop her, Lily wriggled her fingers out of her mother’s grasp and hurtled herself across the room and into Richie’s lap.  “Daddy!” 

He grunted when one of Lily’s sneaker-clad feet connected with his shin as she climbed up on him.  “I’ll call you later, Ori.”  He hissed out a painful curse when that same shoe connected high on the inside of his thigh as she settled on his lap.  Fuck.  “Take a look at what I sent you and we’ll talk about it later.”  He listened for another minute before disconnecting the call.  He tucked the phone into his shirt pocket with one hand and snagged his pencil with the other before Lily could graffiti all over his notebook.

“It’s time a go, daddy.”  Lily turned her big brown eyes up to her father.  “Time a go plane.”

Stephanie sighed inwardly when she realized who he had been on the phone with.  Why does he talking with that woman bother me so much?  There was just something about him working with, talking to, spending time with Orianthi that just didn’t sit right with her.  She glanced down at Lily sitting on his lap and then back up at him.  She needed to get over it.  They were just working together.  Nothing more. 

She shifted her thoughts, “sorry, I didn’t think you’d still be on the phone.”

Richie waved her off, “no problem.  We were mostly finished anyway.”  He looked down and frowned, Lily had found a pen when he wasn’t looking.  Her scribbles decorated more than one page of his notebook.  He gently pried the writing instrument from her fingers, “daddy, I coloring!”  Her little mouth turned into a pout.  “I not done yet!” 

He tucked the pen, pencil and notebook into his messenger bag.  “Oh yes you are baby girl.  It’s time to go, isn’t it?” he reminded her.

Coloring forgotten, she shifted on his lap and wriggled down, stepping on her father’s sock clad foot in her haste.  “Yea, let’s go!”  She marched across the room toward her mother, “come on mama” she grabbed her mother’s fingers and tried to pull her out the door.  

Stephanie looked at Richie and winced, “are you okay?”

“I’m fine.”  He stood and grabbed his bag, “maybe I’ll let you kiss the bruises better later.”

“Daddy, Mama!”  Lily hollered from the hallway.

Stephanie rolled her eyes and stepped out into the hall, “I’m not kissing your foot.”

He followed close behind, his breath ruffling her hair as he leaned in so little ears couldn’t hear, “I have others that need some TLC.”

Turning, she smothered her laugh and ran her hand teasingly up the inside of his thigh as Lily yelled for them once more.  “I’ll kiss your boo boos later.  But we’d better go now before she screams the house down.”

QQQQQQ

“Sweetheart,” he called toward the bathroom “are you about ready?’”  He slipped his arms into his jacket and shrugged it over his shoulders.  “I don’t want to be late.”  It was Derby Day and he was anxious to get going.  He wanted to get a look at the horses, place his bets and just take in the atmosphere of Churchill Downs.  He was still on a little adrenaline high from last night if he was being honest.  The Barnstable Brown Gala had been last night and he had played to a very enthusiastic crowd before relinquishing his guitar to others to play.  The one-of-a-kind instrument, designed by him, was auctioned off to the highest bidder and raised over $30,000 for diabetes research.  Residual excitement had his fingers fidgeting with the urge to play. 

Stepping in front of the mirror he ran those fidgety digits through his hair and straightened his jacket.  “Sweetheart,” he started again and then stopped when he caught her reflection as she stepped from the bathroom.

She tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear as she moved across the room.  She had wound her hair up in a low bun at her nape and a few rogue strands just didn’t want to cooperate.  “I just need my shoes, and my hat.”

He turned and whistled low, “Once again, darlin’, you look amazing.”  She had stolen his breath last night with her magenta gown and now, with this dress, he was going to be the envy of the Derby.

She stopped in the act of getting her shoes from their bag and turned to look at him. “Thank you.”  The Dolce and Gabbana sheath was everything she had remembered it being when she had tried it on at the store.  “I had a good time shopping for this trip.”

He smiled, flashing his dimples at her.  “I’ll say you did.  I’m glad we’re leaving tomorrow though.  I’m not sure my heart can take another get up like this.”  He took the few steps to close the distance between them.  He skimmed his fingers lightly along her cheek, tucking another stubborn strand of hair behind her ear.  “It’s a shame you put your hair up again though.  You know how I like it all wild and curling around your shoulders.”

She turned her head and pressed her lips against his palm.  “I know you do, but up like this will be better with my hat.” 

Reaching around him she lifted the lid of the hat box and drew out her hat.  In contrast to her dress, the straw hat was white and trimmed with a deep grape/purple organza band and oversized bow.  The black feathers and the fact that the large purple and grape flowers perfectly matched the color of the flowers on her dress had sold her on it.  It might not “match” the dress exactly, but it certainly went “with” the entire look she had put together. 

Stepping around him, she stood in front of the mirror and settled the hat at a slight angle on her head and secured it with a hat pin, an accessory that Jeanine told her was an absolute must have.  Slipping her feet into her black peep toe pumps she turned back, raising her head slightly to peer at him from under the brim of her hat.  “So, do I look Derby ready?”

He reached out and ran his fingertip lightly around the brim of her hat and adjusted it ever so slightly before taking her hand in his.  “I’m not sure I’m Derby ready now, darlin’.  You look incredible.  I think I need to step up my game.”

She smiled and picked up her purse, “you always look good, Rich.  And I think that’s probably my favorite hat of yours.”  In his free hand was his Stetson with the hammered silver band.  It always struck a chord with her.

Settling the hat on his head, he tipped it toward her, “thank you darlin’.”  He offered his harm, “shall we?”

She took his arm, “let’s go.”

Chapter 22

Candlelight flickered around the room.  The scent of roses and lilies mingled with the candles and wafted through the room.  He stood back and studied his handiwork.  It looked pretty damn good if he did say so himself.  He owed her this much, at least, for all he had put her through in the last few weeks.  He had been an ass not only to the band but to her as well and she hadn’t deserved any of it.  Even though he apologized and things seemed to be back on an even keel between them, it couldn’t hurt his cause to spoil her just a little bit.

He crossed to the bathroom and double-checked his work in there.  Music played quietly, the tub was full and a few candles floated in the frothy, steamy water.  More flowers and candles surrounded the tub and a bottle of her favorite wine sat chilling in a bucket on the stand next to the tub.  He rubbed his hands together as he crossed back to the door and out.  Now he just needed to find his wife. 

Stepping into the hallway he caught the missile that was his daughter as she came barreling at him. 

“Daddy!” 

She was always so happy to see him.  It never failed to bring a smile to his face and an extra beat to his heart.

“Baby girl!’ he answered with nearly the same enthusiasm as he scooped her up.  He accepted the smattering of kisses she peppered over his face.  “Where are your clothes” he asked as she laid her head against his shoulder.

She had run from the bathroom and away from her mother and bath time.  “Bafroom” she pointed down the hall toward an open door. 

He nodded and walked down the hall, back the way she had come, “I should have known.”  He found Stephanie in the bathroom shutting the water off after filling the tub.  “I found this naked girl running around out there.”  He set Lily on her feet.  “She says she left her clothes in here.” 

Stephanie helped Lily into the tub, “she took off before I could grab her.”  She looked up at Richie, “she’s too damn fast.”

Richie chuckled.  “that’ll change once she gets older.”  

He took a good look at his wife.  She had put in several hours that day on her latest habitat project, chased after a toddler for the better part of the afternoon, started getting ready for their trip to Kentucky and New Jersey and she had been dealing with his reluctant ass.  It was no wonder she looked a little worn out.  

“Why don’t you let me handle bath and bed time tonight, Sweetheart?”  It was just the opportunity he needed to get her to find his little surprise.

Never one to look a gift horse in the mouth, she looked at Lily, “what do you think Baby Doll?  Do you think Daddy can handle bath and bedtime stories?”

Lily splashed her delight, getting Stephanie’s shirt wet in the process.  “Yay Daddy, he can do it!”

Stephanie laughed and stood, tugging at her wet t-shirt.  “I guess you have your answer, Rich.  Just try not to flood the house.”  She knew full well how much water their daughter could displace from the tub when she got her mermaid on.

Richie took her hand as she made to move by him, “why don’t you go change and relax, Sweetheart?  I’ll come find you when we’re done here.”

Reaching up, she pressed her lips to his, “a glass of wine actually sounds pretty good right now.”  She kissed him again, “thanks.”

Their laughter followed her down the hall and was completely forgotten when she stepped into the bedroom.  “Oh, Richie” she whispered to herself.  She was utterly charmed and enchanted by the setting he had created with the flowers, candles and soft music.  She stopped at her dresser and buried her face in the bouquet of lavender roses he had left there.  Straightening, she smiled softly and pulled her shirt off, so that’s where he had disappeared to after dinner.  He had left to “run an errand” after they had eaten.  He wouldn’t say where and she hadn’t seen or heard him come back.  She glanced around again, now she knew why.  

Sneaky man. 

Stripping off the rest of the clothes she dumped the pile into the hamper and headed to the bathroom.  She stopped in her tracks at the full tub and the wine chilling next to it.  Backtracking to the counter, she picked up an elastic band and bundled her hair up on top of her head before moving back and stepping into the tub.  Pouring a glass of wine, she sank to her chin in the fragrant water and let the heat and steam ease her tired body and mind. 

She sipped and soaked and had nearly dozed off when Richie stepped into the room.   Her eyes traveled the length of him where he stood, leaning against the vanity.  He had changed into his robe, the hem resting just below his knees.  His bare feet were crossed at the ankle and the light smattering of hair on his chest peeked at her from the vee above his crossed arms.  “Did Lily go down okay?”  She licked her lips and set her glass aside.

The heat and steam had put color back in her cheeks and a sheen of sweat shone on her forehead.  A limp curl escaped her messy topknot and trailed along her cheek.  His eyes dipped lower, her bare shoulders were all that he could see for all the bubbles in the tub.  His hands loosened the belt at his waist.  “She was out before Cinderella got her shoe back.”  He slipped his robe off and hung it on the hook on the back of the door.  “Mind if I join you?”

She watched him move around the bathroom and heat that had nothing to do with the bathwater rose in her.  It had been too long since they had been together, too long since she’d had her hands on him and vice versa.  “Sure, come on in.”  She slid forward and he stepped in behind her.

He settled behind her and pulled her back so she was resting against his chest. 

She laid her head on his shoulder and pressed her lips to the side of his neck.  “Thank you for all this” she gestured around them with her hand.  “You know it was unnecessary though, right?”

“Not from my perspective.”  He handed her the wineglass she had abandoned when he had come into the room.  “I fucked up and this is my penance.”

She sipped and nearly snorted, “some penance.  A bubble bath is hardly punishment.”

He chuckled along with her, “maybe not, but I still needed to do something to make things up to you.”  He turned his head and found her lips with his.  “I’m glad you like it.”

Reaching over him, she set her now empty glass on the edge of the tub, “you’re a sneaky man, husband.”

He trailed his fingers up her slick, bubble-covered arm as she settled back against him, “gotta be a little sneaky to get a surprise over on you, darlin’.  You can read me too well and would have known what I was up to.”

His fingers got more brazen as they languished in the tub.  They found their way under the bubbles and he traced light circles around her hardening nipples. 

“Rich” she murmured as she shifted restlessly his fingers never ceasing their circling, his burgeoning erection teasing her from behind.  “Maybe we should get out of the tub?”

He shifted her around in front of him and had her straddle his thighs, “but I like it here” he told her as he palmed a breast, lifting it from the water.  Lowering his head he lightly blew the bubbles away and took the hard tip into his mouth, sucking gently.

Gripping his shoulders, her head dropped back and she groaned, “there’s more room…” her voice trailed off and another groan escaped her as he repeated the delicious torture on her other breast.

Water sloshed over the edge of the tub as they shifted and moved.  She canted her hips and the tip of his cock slid across her center, pausing at her entrance.  Widening her knees she slid lower and he pressed up, filling her in one smooth motion.

Neither moved for a long moment, the feeling of relief, of overwhelming rightness held them on a precarious edge before she lifted and settled back down on his lap.  “Fuck, Rich” she muttered as she moved.

He gripped her hips and pressed his up into her, “fuck, yeah darlin’.” He could feel her muscles surrounding him start to tighten. She was ready to go. He wanted, needed to see her fall. Dipping his head he took her nipple into his mouth again and sucked. He felt her tighten and he pumped his hips harder, letting her take them both over into sweet oblivion.

Chapter 21

Richie let her hands go and stood, pacing away from her and back again.  They knew each other too damn well if she could read him that easily.  How could he describe it to her though?  How could he explain the guilt, the feeling of disappointment he knew would come from talking to Jon?  To any of them?  “I’m not afraid of anything.”

‘You know,” she cocked her head and looked at him, “I think that’s the first time you ever really lied to me.”  She stood and crossed to him, unwilling to keep circling around this issue anymore.  “I’m going to go check on Lily.  When you’re ready to tell me the truth, come find me.”  She stepped around him and reached for the doorknob.

He closed his eyes, huffed out a sigh.  Fuck.  “Wait.”  He had to tell her.  This was becoming a festering thing between them and he hated it.  It was time to lance the boil that this disagreement between them had become before it infected their relationship any further.  And it was on him to do it. 

She paused, “what?”

He ran an agitated hand through his hair.  “I put them through so much shit in the last buncha years.  I just figured the phone call to Paul and an email to Jon would be easier…” he trailed off.

Stephanie didn’t turn from the door, they stood, back to back.  “Easier for who?”

He turned then.  “You don’t know what I put them through, what they did for me.”  When she still didn’t turn, he continued, “you only know what we let you see, Sweetheart.  They never woulda admitted to how big a pain in their asses I was, publicly.  And I was a bigger ass than you can imagine.  The pills, the booze, I let it take over everything.  And they put up with it.  And the times when I was sober enough to really see them?  The disappointment that lurked in their eyes had me hitting the bottle even harder.  

I hated what I was putting them through, but I couldn’t see to get myself out of it.  And the more I told myself I could stop anytime, the more I reckless I became.  And they never wavered.  They all stood by me, true enough, but they were also disappointed in me, in the way I chose to deal with everything and they were right to.  I was so screwed up I could hardly get myself out of bed and dressed without a drink or a pill and a drink to wash it down.” 

He reached out and laid a hand on her shoulder, looking for that little bit of understanding from her.  His rock, his sounding board, his everything.

She turned to face him, eyes drenched, tearstains on her cheeks.  She remembered all too well the Unplugged special they did right as Lost Highway was coming out.  He sat on a stool the entire time, could barely get through the songs.  She still couldn’t re-watch it.  Just the thought of it hurt her now as it had back then.  “As a fan I saw the struggle, the brave face you put on to hide what you were going through.  You weren’t hiding it as well as you may have thought.  We, my friends and I, knew you were hurting and it broke our hearts.  We also know the guys stood by you through all that shit and you turned all that around.  At least we thought you did.”

He dipped his head to find her eyes, “I did for a bit and after a while I figured I was doing well enough I could handle one drink.  Just to be social, you know?  But then one, turned into two, turned into a bottle.  I let them down, again.  I had to leave yet another tour and do another stint in another facility.  You know, you were there for that one.”

She reached out, took his hands, “I know.  I also know that those men would lay down their lives for you, as you would for any one of them. They are the closest thing to brothers you’ve ever had and yet you felt it was okay to just walk away.  They were there for you during the absolute worst time in your life.  You need to face them and their disappointment.  You can’t let it end like this.”

He pulled her close, wrapping his arms around her.  Her tears were killing him. He hated that his words, his choices, made her cry. “You’re right, I know you’re right, it’s just hard for me to swallow all this pride and go back to them, hat in hand and tell them ‘I’m sorry I fucked up’ yet again.  I hate that I keep letting them down.”

She sniffed back her tears, “I have to believe they’ll understand once you explain yourself to them.”

His lips grazed her forehead.  “Once again, you’re probably right.  Does it ever get tiring?”

Amusement danced around her lips, “not in the least.”

He smiled and hugged her tight, “I’m sorry, Sweetheart.”

Drained, she rested her head against his chest, let his heartbeat soothe her.  “It’s not me you have to apologize to.”

“Sure I did.  And I know I have another one to make.  And I will” he added when she raised her eyes to his, “I promise.” 

To lighten the mood, he took her hand and eyed all the bags on the bed again, “will you still be my date for the Derby?”

She followed his gaze, “since I seem to have bought a Derby-worthy wardrobe, I’d be an idiot to say no.”

They left the room together, “but did you get the most important Derby item?”

She mentally ran through her purchases, “most important item?  I guess I’m not sure what you mean.”

They stopped at Lily’s room and peeked in, she was in her bed, surrounded by all her friends, napping peacefully.  Stephanie went in and adjusted her blanket before she and Richie continued down the stairs.

“You had to have bought a hat, right” he asked her as they rounded the corner into the kitchen.  “You can’t go to the Derby and not wear a hat, Sweetheart.”

She laughed and moved across the room to the refrigerator.  “Oh, I got a hat and the most perfect dress for the Derby.  I can’t wait to wear it.”

Richie’s phone chimed, interrupting their banter.  He glanced down at the screen and back up at her.  “It’s Jon.”

“Talk to him Rich.  Get it done.”  She kissed his cheek as she wandered past him to the doors and out to the patio to give him some privacy.

A finger swipe later, Jon’s voice was in his ear. “Hey.”

Richie inhaled deeply and let the breath out, “hey man, got a minute to talk?”

Chapter 20

The Kentucky Derby.  They were going to the Kentucky Derby.  And the Barnstable Gala.  And Richie was playing at both.  So much for him wanting to be home more.  It felt like they were running every day of the week lately.  Stephanie shook her head as she wandered through her favorite dress shop in Burbank.  She always had good luck in here.  A secret smile snuck across her face as she thought about one very memorable dusky gold dress she had found here.  She hoped she was as fortunate on this trip.  She breathed out a quiet sigh.  With the way things were between them lately, it may not make much of a difference.

She was flipping aimlessly through a rack of cocktail dresses when the owner came out from the store room.

“Miss Stephanie, so nice to see you again!”

“Hey Jeanine, it’s been a while, hasn’t it?” 

Jeanine was barely five foot tall and weighed about 90 pounds soaking wet.  But the woman had energy for days.  She could outlast the Energizer bunny given the chance.  Her hair today was as pink as the battery bunny and against the brilliant green of her blouse made Stephanie think an Easter basket exploded on her.  But, no matter, the woman knew her stuff. 

Jeanine bustled over to the rack Stephanie was going through, “where have you been hiding and what are we shopping for today my friend?”

“I haven’t been hiding, just haven’t needed a dress for anything until now.” Stephanie smiled as the woman started flipping hangars on the other side of the rack.  “We’re going to the Kentucky Derby and I need a dress for that and for the Gala the night before.”  She looked around the shop, “I also need a hat.”

Jeanine’s eyes lit up, “ooh, we just got a couple fancy ones in our last shipment yesterday.  I’ll get them after we find you the perfect dress!”  She continued going through the rack then turned to a second one before yelling across the store to her associate, “Marcee, where’s the D&G that just came in the other day?” 

“D & G?”  Stephanie had no idea what the woman was talking about.

“Dolce & Gabbana, girl.  We got a fabulous floral sheath in the other day that would be stunning on you.  “Marcee, did you find it?”

The girl hollered back, “it’s behind the counter on hold for someone, but she hasn’t been in to pick it up.  That was like four days ago.”

Jeanine went behind the counter and found the dress.  “Four days?!  She snoozes, she loses.”  She hurried back and dragged Stephanie to a dressing room, “here” she pushed the dress at her along with a couple others.  “I’ll look for a gown too, get going on those.”

With a smart salute Stephanie turned to the dressing room, “yes ma’am!” 

She tried on several different floral print dresses and dismissed them all.  Nothing was quite what she had been looking for.  One was too white, one was too flowy and hung on her like a sack, one was just the total wrong color combination.  She hung the last one back on a hanger and reached for the Dolce & Gabbana.  

It was gorgeous.  As she unzipped it and took it off the hangar, she had a mantra of please let it fit running through her head.  She stepped into the black and floral silk sheath, it slid easily up over her hips.  So far, so good.  She got her arms through and with a contorted effort, reached back, said a quick prayer and zipped the dress.  She turned to the mirror, it fit like it was made just for her.  The sheath hugged her in all the right places.  The slight off-the-shoulder style showed off her toned and tanned arms.  And she was in love with the  purple floral pattern.

“Jeanine!”

The woman hustled over, the dresses she was carrying flying behind her, “what’s wrong?”

Stephanie stepped out and stood in front of the trio of mirrors, “Nothing, absolutely nothing. This is the most perfect dress!”

Jeanine looked her up and down, it fit the woman like a dream.  “I knew it!  I knew it was for you.  Now, let’s see,” she thought for a minute, “I’m sure I have a hat and shoes to go with it and here,” she passed off three evening gowns, “try these.”

“I don’t really need shoes, but, it’s the Derby so I definitely need a hat.”  Stephanie took the dresses, and already hated that she’d have to take off the one she was wearing. 

“Pssssh, you always need shoes, girl.”  Jeanine left her and headed across the store. 

♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪

Hanging the two dresses on the hook on the open closet door, Stephanie just stared at them.  She couldn’t believe she had spent that much money on the one, but Jesus, she couldn’t wait to wear it.  And the gown the Jeanine had picked out was beyond anything her imagination could have come up with.  God, she loved Jeanine.  She hoped the woman never closed her doors.  She would never find another shop like hers.

“Hey, Sweetheart.”

Stephanie turned at Richie’s voice.  “Hey yourself.  I didn’t know you were back.”  He had been at the studio when she had left that morning to go shopping.  “How did it go?”

He looked at the bags on their bed and to the dresses hanging on the closet door. “Not as well as your day did apparently.”  Things were coming along with the songs he and Ori were working on, but a multitude of interruptions that day made it hard to get anything of substance done.  “Did you buy the entire store today?”

“No” she chuckled.  She had walked out with the two dresses, a hat, two pairs of shoes, a couple of skirts and a jacket she couldn’t bear to leave behind.  She would swear her credit card actually screamed a little when she ran it through the reader.  But what fun was having money if you didn’t splurge once in a while?  “I may have left one or two things behind.”

Richie stepped in front of her as she moved toward the bed.  “Are we going to keep being at odds with each other over this?”  He hated the distance he felt growing between them.

“Did you talk to Jon, or any of the guys yet?”  Things were nearly back to normal between them.  As far as she knew he still hadn’t talked to Jon, but she couldn’t force him to do it and while it was a bit of a wedge between them, she couldn’t keep badgering him about it.  But things were still slightly stilted between them because of it. 

He didn’t much care for the disappointment in her eyes either.  “No, but I did send Jon an email.”

She shook her head and moved around him.  “That’s not talking to him, Rich.”

Shoving the bags out of the way, Richie sat down on the edge of the bed, grasping her wrist and tugging her gently to stand between his knees.  “I don’t like this” he waved his hand between them, “thing between us.”

“I don’t either” she sighed and twisted around to sit next to him.  “I just don’t understand why you can’t make a phone call.” 

He brought her hand to his lips, grazing the back of it.  “It’s not that easy, Sweetheart.”

She studied him for a long moment and found something in his eyes she hadn’t seen there before. “What exactly are you afraid of?”

Chapter 19

This hiss of the air pump and the repeated thwack of the nail gun kept her focused.  She’d been replaying their conversation in her head all week.  How could he walk away from the only “job” he had known for the last 30 years and not say anything to those who mattered most?  He still hadn’t answered that particular question. 

Hiss.  Thwack.

She shook her head and re-aligned, she had to keep her mind on what she was doing or risk nailing her hand to the framing she was working on.  When the last nail was in place she set the nail gun aside and stood, letting the team raise the wall she had framed in. 

It was rewarding, fulfilling work; building houses for other people.  Putting a roof over someone’s head who was putting in as many hours, often times more, to make their dream a reality in the only way that was possible at that moment.  Stephanie grabbed the bottle of water from her tool box and took a long drink. 

Was Richie that unfulfilled, that unrewarded at his “job” that he felt he had to walk away without mentioning it to anyone?  Or was there some other underlying reason? 

There hadn’t been any anger when he told her what he’d done.  She thought back.  No, he seemed excited about the prospect of trying something new, something different.  She could sympathize.  Hadn’t she herself been scared and excited about leaving her paying job behind to go totally outside her box and pick up a hammer and build houses?  Maybe he really did need to do something different, work with different people, just like he had said.  But still, he had to talk to the guys.  He couldn’t leave them hanging like this.  They needed to hear from him personally, not just in relayed message from their tour manager. 

That was where she was having her biggest issue with this whole life change he was embarking on.  You don’t just walk out, walk away from a lifetime of friendship and musicianship without a word to those you were closest to.  And you don’t do it in the middle of a world tour for crying out loud.  It was beyond rude.  It was disloyal and she couldn’t even begin to imagine how betrayed and hurt Jon, David and Tico must be feeling.  Or maybe that was just her projecting her touchy-feely, girly feelings onto the manly men from Bon Jovi.  She snickered. 

Okay she really needed to stop thinking about all that and concentrate on what she was doing.   She tossed her empty water bottle toward the recycle bin.  They’d talk more when she got home.

@@@@@@

“All right, darlin’.  See you next week.”  Richie ended the call.  Orianthi was coming back to town next week and they were going to finish up the songs they had started the last time she had been there.  And then maybe he could convince her to collaborate on an album instead of just a few one-offs.

A glance down at his notepad showed him his schedule would be keeping him hopping.  He had a song to write for a new movie coming out, he had been asked to appear at a couple of fundraisers, had been asked to play at the Kentucky Derby and Ava had a school function he needed to attend later in the week.  Good thing he hung up his tour shoes.  He’d missed enough of Ava’s life being on the road.  It was good to be home for these things instead of hearing about them second hand. 

He turned the phone over in his hand.  As good as it was to be home, he did kind of miss the comradery with the guys.  It was quiet in the house this morning.  Stephanie was off working on her Habitat project, Ava didn’t live here all the time and she was at school anyway and Lily was with Jenna at swimming lessons. 

He was totally alone.

He turned the phone over again, noticing the time.  He could still hear Steph in his head telling him he needed to talk to Jon at least about this decision he had made.  Not that the David, Tico and Hugh were any less important. But she was right when she said Jon was his best friend and he should give Jon the courtesy of a phone call.  At the very least.  The fact that she was right didn’t make the impending call any easier. 

They had been attached at the hip for so long, spent so much of their lives in each other’s pockets, he had to believe that Jon hadn’t been all that surprised to get the news from Paul.  He also had to believe that Jon wasn’t that pissed off at him.  Hell, he’d left a tour before.  Granted it was for a stint in rehab and he had come back from that, but still. 

He flipped the phone over once more.  So many variables to consider.  How had they really taken the news from Paul?  From the news bits on the television and the way his phone continued to blow up, not very well, no matter what he would like to believe.  But he could only blame himself for that. 

A long, breathy sigh resigned him to the fact that he had to do the right thing here and talk to Jon. 

Had he let too much time pass to smooth things over?  Jon would be up and around by now.  He could call, try to explain his reasoning for ditching in the middle of the tour.  Would it really matter now?  Stephanie thought it would.  They had gone over and around this one point a million times in the past week.  She never wavered from her stance.  Do the right thing here Rich.  It seemed to be her mantra lately.

Waking his phone, he opened his email.  Call him a coward, but a written note might possibly smooth the way toward a phone conversation with Jon.  He had seen the man’s temper in full force and effect.  He may deserve it, but he still didn’t have any desire to take it full on in the face if he could avoid it.  Maybe a personal note would diffuse the temper and soothe the beast a little.

His fingers moved quickly as he started to compose the note.  

It was worth a shot.

Chapter 18

Richie paced from one side of his office to the other. With his hands in his pockets, he stared blindly out the window. Am I really going to do this? After 30+ years, am I really going to walk away from them and start all over again?

He paced back to the far side of the room. You know it’s what you’ve wanted for a while now. Besides, it’s become one big, monotonous machine. You have little to no creativity, no room to grow anymore. You’ve topped out. Where else is there to go if you stay?

He sighed and paced back to the windows. You basically have no say in much of anything. You’ll never be your own boss if you stay. You’ll always have someone making your decisions for you. You’ll always be at someone else’s beck and call.

He turned to move back and saw his baby girl standing in the doorway, the purple, sparkly band of mickey ears perched haphazardly on her head, several books in her arms. He had to smile. She loved her stories. “Hey baby girl, what are you doing in here?’

She grinned, flashing her dimples at him as she marched across the room to him, “read me” she insisted.

He scooped her up, “where’s your mama?” he asked as he settled them on the sofa.

“Store.” She handed him one of the books, “this one, pease?’

Digging his glasses out of his shirt pocket he glanced at the cover. Sofia the First: Holiday in Enchancia. He practically knew this one by heart. “Santa” had brought it and it had been a favorite ever since. He got through that one, Beauty and the Beast and was halfway through Cinderella when she slumped against him. He glanced down to find her asleep, her head resting heavily against his chest. He closed the book and eased her up to his shoulder before standing and heading out to put her in her bed.

Easing the band of ears from her head, he laid her gently on her bed and tugged up a light blanket. Giving her a kiss he backed out of the room, watching her for a moment before partially closing the door.

How many more of these moments do you want to miss. She’ll be a teenager like Ava before you know it. And Ava will be graduating and going off to college by the time you’re done with this go round. How much more of their lives are you willing to miss?

He turned and headed down the hall, more determined now. He didn’t want to miss any more of his daughters’ lives. He’d done enough. It was time. He reached into his pocket and swore. His phone was in his office.

♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪

Stephanie pulled her Camaro into the garage, surprised she hadn’t heard from Richie while she had been out. She was later than planned and hoped she hadn’t missed him. Not that he would leave without saying goodbye, but time had gotten away from her. She pulled her phone out and, nope, no missed calls or texts. Weird she thought as pushed open the door from the garage. Laughter greeted her as she moved past the laundry room and closer to the kitchen.

She had expected to find him, bags packed and ready to go, only waiting on her to say goodbye. She was surprised to see him sprawled with Lily on the floor of the living room just beyond the kitchen, pink and purple Legos spread out all around them, and the two of them laughing like loons.

She paused at the edge of the room, surveying the wreckage. “What did I miss, what’s so funny?”

They looked up at her simultaneously, matching grins and dimples on their faces. “Daddy stormed castle and boomed it up.”

She looked at Richie, the question clear on her face. “Boomed it up?”

He pushed at the blocks to clear a space and, with a not-so-quiet groan, climbed to his feet.  “There was a raid on the castle, chaos ensued and well, there may have been an explosion or two. It was close, but there was no loss of life.”  He glanced over his shoulder and one of the Lego people was in a couple of pieces. “One of them lost a limb, but he should have been more careful.”

She could only shake her head in amusement. Her husband was as much of a child as her three-year old at times. “And is there an excavation crew coming to clean up the mess?”

Richie grinned and crouched back down, “come on Lily, let’s get the bucket and clear away the debris.”

“What’s ‘bris, daddy?” She dumped a couple of blocks in the bucket.

He held up a handful, “the blocks, baby girl. Let’s clean up the mess.”

When all the blocks were back in the bucket Lily toddled off with them to her play room. Stephanie looked after her wistfully. She’d miss their joined laughter while he was away.

“Are you packed and ready to go?” A glance at the clock on the wall told her it was just about time for him to be heading to the airport.

He took her hand and led her down the hall to his office. “No” he told her as he closed the door.

“No?  What do you mean no?” Confusion was clear in her voice.

“I’m not going anywhere, Sweetheart.”

What was he talking about? “I don’t understand. You have a show tonight in Calgary, what do you mean you’re not going anywhere?”

He took her hand and tugged her toward the couch, “sit down, Sweetheart.”

She did and then she stood again as his words sank in, fearful she understood more than she really wanted to. “No, I don’t want to sit. And what do you mean you’re not going anywhere? What did you do?”

They stared at each other across the ottoman in front of the sofa. “I’m not going to Calgary or anywhere else for a while.  I'm done with the band.”

Her heart dropped to her stomach. “Done?”

He tucked his hands in his pockets, “that’s what I said, I’m done. It was time for me to step back and be here with you and the girls. I can’t be out there with the band anymore.”

“But…” Stephanie shook her head, still trying to grasp what he was saying. He was leaving Bon Jovi.

He. Was. Leaving. Bon Jovi.

Holy shit.

She looked at him, he wasn’t kidding. This was no joke. He was absolutely serious. “Why?”

“Because it’s time. Because I’m not excited about being out on the road and playing that music anymore. Because I want to see Lily go off to pre-school. Because I want to see Ava graduate high school. Because I want to sleep in the same bed with my wife every night. Because I have other music in me that I won’t get to make if I stay with the band.” There were a million other reasons, but he hoped she got the point.

She moved around the ottoman, coming to stand in front of him. “Are you sure about this?”

“I’ve been mulling it over since before we got married, Sweetheart. I’m ready to move on, move forward, make new music.” Not that he hated what he played night after night, but it got old and it was starting to feel stale.

She stared at him for a long moment, remembering all the times he had seemed introspective or lost in thought. Every time she had asked him if he wanted to talk and he said no. All the time he spent scribbling in the notebook she had grown to hate on their honeymoon. His excitement at meeting Orianthi and the songs they had been working on together. Had it all been leading to this? And why hadn’t he talked to her about it before making this life changing decision?

“Did meeting Orianthi have anything to do with this decision?”

His eyes widened, he hadn’t expected that. “She wasn’t the driving factor, but working with her lit a new fire in me to branch out and try new things.” He wasn’t going to deny the obvious.

“Is this what you were struggling with on our wedding night, and all those times you didn’t want to talk to me about whatever it was going on in your head on our honeymoon?”

She could read him so well at times, it was kind of scary. “Yeah. I was heading in this direction and wasn’t totally sure what I was going to do. That’s why I didn’t talk to you. I didn’t know what I was going to do at that point. Now I do. And I’m not making this decision lightly.”

No, she could see that. He had put more than a little thought into this decision. “Can I ask one more question?”

He reached out, took her hand, he needed that connection with her. “Ask as many as you want, Sweetheart.”

“How did Jon take the news?’ His best friend of more than 30 years could not have been happy with this decision, especially not with the tour still going forward.

He braced himself for the backlash. “I haven’t talked to Jon.”

“WHAT?!” She pulled her hand from his, turning away from him then whirling back, her hair flying around her. “How could you NOT talk to him about this?! How do you NOT talk to your boss, for all intents and purposes, about walking away from your job?!”

Richie stepped toward her and stopped when she took a step back, “he’s in show mode right now, in his routine. I called and talked to Paul. Besides, Jon’s not my boss.”

“Really?” She shook her head, he always forgot she was a fan. “I’ve been a fan as long as there has been a band, Rich. I’ve heard the stories, read the interviews. I know whose name is on the recording contract.”

He opened his mouth to deny, but closed it again. Dammit he kept forgetting she was a fan and she was right, he couldn’t deny it. “So.”

“So?!” She lifted her eyes to the ceiling searching for the patience she wasn’t feeling at the moment. Lowering them, she pressed her fingers to her temples to rub at the headache that was brewing. She closed her eyes and took a breath to calm down. She stepped closer to him and took his hand again.

“Even setting the whole boss thing aside for a minute, for the last 30 years you’ve been his right-hand man. He’s your best friend. They, Jon, David and Tico, hell even Huey, they’re the closest you have to brothers. How do you make a decision like this and NOT talk to them?”