Richie paced from one side of his office to the other. With his hands in his pockets, he stared blindly out the window. Am I really going to do this? After 30+ years, am I really going to walk away from them and start all over again?
He paced back to the far side of the room. You know it’s what you’ve wanted for a while now. Besides, it’s become one big, monotonous machine. You have little to no creativity, no room to grow anymore. You’ve topped out. Where else is there to go if you stay?
He sighed and paced back to the windows. You basically have no say in much of anything. You’ll never be your own boss if you stay. You’ll always have someone making your decisions for you. You’ll always be at someone else’s beck and call.
He turned to move back and saw his baby girl standing in the doorway, the purple, sparkly band of mickey ears perched haphazardly on her head, several books in her arms. He had to smile. She loved her stories. “Hey baby girl, what are you doing in here?’
She grinned, flashing her dimples at him as she marched across the room to him, “read me” she insisted.
He scooped her up, “where’s your mama?” he asked as he settled them on the sofa.
“Store.” She handed him one of the books, “this one, pease?’
Digging his glasses out of his shirt pocket he glanced at the cover. Sofia the First: Holiday in Enchancia. He practically knew this one by heart. “Santa” had brought it and it had been a favorite ever since. He got through that one, Beauty and the Beast and was halfway through Cinderella when she slumped against him. He glanced down to find her asleep, her head resting heavily against his chest. He closed the book and eased her up to his shoulder before standing and heading out to put her in her bed.
Easing the band of ears from her head, he laid her gently on her bed and tugged up a light blanket. Giving her a kiss he backed out of the room, watching her for a moment before partially closing the door.
How many more of these moments do you want to miss. She’ll be a teenager like Ava before you know it. And Ava will be graduating and going off to college by the time you’re done with this go round. How much more of their lives are you willing to miss?
He turned and headed down the hall, more determined now. He didn’t want to miss any more of his daughters’ lives. He’d done enough. It was time. He reached into his pocket and swore. His phone was in his office.
♪
♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
Stephanie pulled her Camaro into the garage, surprised she hadn’t heard from Richie while she had been out. She was later than planned and hoped she hadn’t missed him. Not that he would leave without saying goodbye, but time had gotten away from her. She pulled her phone out and, nope, no missed calls or texts. Weird she thought as pushed open the door from the garage. Laughter greeted her as she moved past the laundry room and closer to the kitchen.
She had expected to find him, bags packed and ready to go, only waiting on her to say goodbye. She was surprised to see him sprawled with Lily on the floor of the living room just beyond the kitchen, pink and purple Legos spread out all around them, and the two of them laughing like loons.
She paused at the edge of the room, surveying the wreckage. “What did I miss, what’s so funny?”
They looked up at her simultaneously, matching grins and dimples on their faces. “Daddy stormed castle and boomed it up.”
She looked at Richie, the question clear on her face. “Boomed it up?”
He pushed at the blocks to clear a space and, with a not-so-quiet groan, climbed to his feet. “There was a raid on the castle, chaos ensued and well, there may have been an explosion or two. It was close, but there was no loss of life.” He glanced over his shoulder and one of the Lego people was in a couple of pieces. “One of them lost a limb, but he should have been more careful.”
She could only shake her head in amusement. Her husband was as much of a child as her three-year old at times. “And is there an excavation crew coming to clean up the mess?”
Richie grinned and crouched back down, “come on Lily, let’s get the bucket and clear away the debris.”
“What’s ‘bris, daddy?” She dumped a couple of blocks in the bucket.
He held up a handful, “the blocks, baby girl. Let’s clean up the mess.”
When all the blocks were back in the bucket Lily toddled off with them to her play room. Stephanie looked after her wistfully. She’d miss their joined laughter while he was away.
“Are you packed and ready to go?” A glance at the clock on the wall told her it was just about time for him to be heading to the airport.
He took her hand and led her down the hall to his office. “No” he told her as he closed the door.
“No? What do you mean no?” Confusion was clear in her voice.
“I’m not going anywhere, Sweetheart.”
What was he talking about? “I don’t understand. You have a show tonight in Calgary, what do you mean you’re not going anywhere?”
He took her hand and tugged her toward the couch, “sit down, Sweetheart.”
She did and then she stood again as his words sank in, fearful she understood more than she really wanted to. “No, I don’t want to sit. And what do you mean you’re not going anywhere? What did you do?”
They stared at each other across the ottoman in front of the sofa. “I’m not going to Calgary or anywhere else for a while. I'm done with the band.”
Her heart dropped to her stomach. “Done?”
He tucked his hands in his pockets, “that’s what I said, I’m done. It was time for me to step back and be here with you and the girls. I can’t be out there with the band anymore.”
“But…” Stephanie shook her head, still trying to grasp what he was saying. He was leaving Bon Jovi.
He. Was. Leaving. Bon Jovi.
Holy shit.
She looked at him, he wasn’t kidding. This was no joke. He was absolutely serious. “Why?”
“Because it’s time. Because I’m not excited about being out on the road and playing that music anymore. Because I want to see Lily go off to pre-school. Because I want to see Ava graduate high school. Because I want to sleep in the same bed with my wife every night. Because I have other music in me that I won’t get to make if I stay with the band.” There were a million other reasons, but he hoped she got the point.
She moved around the ottoman, coming to stand in front of him. “Are you sure about this?”
“I’ve been mulling it over since before we got married, Sweetheart. I’m ready to move on, move forward, make new music.” Not that he hated what he played night after night, but it got old and it was starting to feel stale.
She stared at him for a long moment, remembering all the times he had seemed introspective or lost in thought. Every time she had asked him if he wanted to talk and he said no. All the time he spent scribbling in the notebook she had grown to hate on their honeymoon. His excitement at meeting Orianthi and the songs they had been working on together. Had it all been leading to this? And why hadn’t he talked to her about it before making this life changing decision?
“Did meeting Orianthi have anything to do with this decision?”
His eyes widened, he hadn’t expected that. “She wasn’t the driving factor, but working with her lit a new fire in me to branch out and try new things.” He wasn’t going to deny the obvious.
“Is this what you were struggling with on our wedding night, and all those times you didn’t want to talk to me about whatever it was going on in your head on our honeymoon?”
She could read him so well at times, it was kind of scary. “Yeah. I was heading in this direction and wasn’t totally sure what I was going to do. That’s why I didn’t talk to you. I didn’t know what I was going to do at that point. Now I do. And I’m not making this decision lightly.”
No, she could see that. He had put more than a little thought into this decision. “Can I ask one more question?”
He reached out, took her hand, he needed that connection with her. “Ask as many as you want, Sweetheart.”
“How did Jon take the news?’ His best friend of more than 30 years could not have been happy with this decision, especially not with the tour still going forward.
He braced himself for the backlash. “I haven’t talked to Jon.”
“WHAT?!” She pulled her hand from his, turning away from him then whirling back, her hair flying around her. “How could you NOT talk to him about this?! How do you NOT talk to your boss, for all intents and purposes, about walking away from your job?!”
Richie stepped toward her and stopped when she took a step back, “he’s in show mode right now, in his routine. I called and talked to Paul. Besides, Jon’s not my boss.”
“Really?” She shook her head, he always forgot she was a fan. “I’ve been a fan as long as there has been a band, Rich. I’ve heard the stories, read the interviews. I know whose name is on the recording contract.”
He opened his mouth to deny, but closed it again. Dammit he kept forgetting she was a fan and she was right, he couldn’t deny it. “So.”
“So?!” She lifted her eyes to the ceiling searching for the patience she wasn’t feeling at the moment. Lowering them, she pressed her fingers to her temples to rub at the headache that was brewing. She closed her eyes and took a breath to calm down. She stepped closer to him and took his hand again.
“Even setting the whole boss thing aside for a minute, for the last 30 years you’ve been his right-hand man. He’s your best friend. They, Jon, David and Tico, hell even Huey, they’re the closest you have to brothers. How do you make a decision like this and NOT talk to them?”
Checking the rearview mirror as she pulled around and parked in front of the garage confirmed her suspicion. Lily was dead asleep in her car seat. Stephanie smiled and eased herself out of the car. She was ready for an eight-hour nap herself. Disneyland wasn’t for wimps. She unbuckled Lily and lifted her from the seat, leaving the bags with their souvenirs for later. She made it to the door before the tired toddler lifted her head from mama’s shoulder. “Daddy?!”
“He’ll be home soon. He had to drop Ava and Shea off.” Stephanie rubbed her hand lightly, soothingly up and down her daughter’s back.
“’kay” Lily dropped her head back down on her mother’s shoulder.
They made it up the stairs and into Lily’s room before she stirred again. “Bed, mama.”
“Yes, my baby doll. It’s time for bed.” Stephanie gently took the sparkly band of purple mickey ears from her little head and stripped off the dress. “Let’s go potty first.” She took Lily into the bathroom and let her do her thing. While she was practically asleep sitting on the commode, Stephanie dampened a washcloth with warm water and ran it over Lily’s face and hands. “Good enough for now” she murmured as she lifted her exhausted little girl and carried her back to the bedroom. Tugging her nightgown on Stephanie tucked Lily into bed. “Sweet dreams, baby doll” she whispered with a kiss to her cheek. Leaving a nightlight on Stephanie closed the door and headed down to her own room.
Stripping out of her own clothes she unwound her braid and stepped into the shower. The hot water felt like glory on her tired, sweat-sticky body. Shampoo and soap left her feeling refreshed instead of ready to drop like a stone. After drying off she slicked on some lotion and pulled on a pair of cotton pants and a tank. Maybe she’d go down, pour a glass of wine, decompress from the day and figure out what was going on with Richie. She was finger combing her hair when she stepped from the bathroom and stopped.
Richie had made it home and was waiting for her on the balcony off their bedroom. There were candles lit and scattered around the bedroom and out on the balcony. He was reading her mind again. He had a glass of wine waiting for her on the new table. There was also a small box resting next to the glass. Pushing her hair over her shoulder, she crossed the room and stepped out to join him.
She picked up the wineglass by the delicate stem and sipped what she knew would be her favorite Riesling as she traced the embossed “Pandora” on the small box. As always, the wine was cool and crisp on her tongue. She knew what he was up to, but she played along. “What’s all this for?”
Richie’s lips curved into a knowing smirk, “it’s the ‘I’ve-been-acting-like-a-complete-ass-and-have-a-lot-to-make-up-for’ special.”
Caught in a triangle of candlelight, moonlight and shadows, it was hard to make out his expression, but there was no mistaking the amusement in his tone. She couldn’t help but smile. “Well, it’s a start.”
He reached out, his fingers stilling hers on the box and tugging her gently toward him. “How much more than ‘I’m sorry’ will it take to get me out of the doghouse?”
She took another sip of wine and set the glass on the little table in the corner near him. He had come to Disney after all and had given Lily, at least, his time and attention. That was all she had wanted. She didn’t care that his attention wasn’t centered on her, she wanted him to be there for his girls. He hadn’t given Ava as much, but he’d managed there too. All in all the day had ended up miles away from where it had started and the girls were happy. And, here and now, that was all that really mattered.
“You already said you were sorry.” She settled down into the chaise lounge that was next to the table, stretched out her legs, “and I told you I wasn’t mad anymore.”
He picked up the small box before moving to sit on the end of the chair. Putting the box in her hands, he lifted her feet onto his lap. “I know, Sweetheart, but I feel like we’re still at odds over what happened this morning.” He rubbed his fingers up and down her arch, digging in just enough to soothe and massage away the hours and miles she had walked.
Setting the box on the table with her glass, she closed her eyes and sighed. The man knew how to give a damn good foot rub. “You don’t play fair.”
“I just want you happy with me again.” He slid his fingers higher, caressed her ankle, her calf, “I don’t like having you mad at me.”
Her sigh turned to a moan when her pant leg slipped higher and his fingers found the sensitive spot at the back of her knee. “Not mad, irritated mostly.” And even the irritated was waning with every stroke of those very talented fingers.
He started on the other leg, “open your present” he continued the light caress on her calf. “I don’t like you irritated either.” But he had earned the irritation through no one’s fault but his own so he would do whatever it took to fix it.
Forgetting the box she closed her eyes. “Oh God.” She was going to be one big puddle of goo on the chair if he didn’t stop. “Rich, I’m never going to be able to walk back into the bedroom if you keep that up.”
He skimmed his fingers lightly down her leg and, with a little rearranging, moved up the chair to curl behind her, “who said anything about going inside, yet?”
She purred contentedly at the warmth that surrounded her as he settled closer to her. It had been a while since they’d had any intimate contact. She missed feeling close to him. She nestled more fully against him and his purr in her ear echoed her own.
His hand found its way up inside the tank she wore and long fingers lightly stroked the heavy under curve of her breast and up, to just barely tease the hardened tip. His breath was warm at her ear. “I’ve missed you, darlin’.” He carried the bulk of the blame for the distance between them and he was determined to put things to right with her.
With him wrapped around her, she could do little but press her bottom back against him even as she pushed her breast harder into his touch. “Missed you too.”
His hand slid down, pausing to lie flat against her stomach before slipping below the waist of her pants. “Hussy” he whispered finding nothing between her and the soft cotton. Her warmth drew him, a moth to the flame. His fingers brushed over her, urging her leg up and between his. He teased her with light, barely there strokes that had her hips undulating restlessly against him.
She pressed back against him, caught between the arm that was banded across her front and the hard, warm wall of him behind her, it was all she could do. She couldn’t ease the ache…if he would just…”god Rich, please” she begged, uncertain exactly what she was looking for but she needed something more, just a little bit more.
He shifted behind her, sliding his fingers deeper as he nipped along her shoulder and up her neck, his tongue both soothing and inciting. “Just let go, darlin’.” He bit down harder on her shoulder, rubbing away the sting with his tongue and she cried out as her whole body strained with release.
Limp with release and a long day’s exhaustion the only thing keeping her from rolling off the chair were Richie’s arms. His warmth radiated through her and had her curling as close as she could get without being inside his clothes with him. She purred her contentment and reached for him only to have her hand stilled. Prying her eyes open she raised her head slighty, “what about…?” She let the thought trail.
“That was just for you, Sweetheart.” He reached out a hand and snagged the box off the table. “Open your present.”
She shook her head to clear the post-orgasmic fog, “but you didn’t…”
He pressed a fingertip to her lips, “this isn’t about me.” His finger slid from her lips to under her chin and the slightest pressure had her lips in line with his. “Open your present, please.”
She kissed him lightly, “since you asked so nicely…” she picked up the box and unfolded the end and pulled out the tissue paper. The charm dropped into her hand and in the low light she could just make out the heart-shaped charm. Mickey and Minnie were silhouetted in the silver heart, nose to nose. She turned it over, the back was engraved with the words “Believe in Magic.”
Cradling the charm in one hand, she raised her eyes to his and cupped his cheek, “I believe every day, Rich. Ever since we met and you decided I was the one for you, I’ve believed.”
“Just don’t stop believing, Sweetheart. I know I screwed up, but just don’t give up on me, on us.”
“Never, but you need to use your head for more than just growing hair.”
He chuckled and held her close, “I get more than a little focused and tend to shut everything else out in that moment, but I’ll try, Sweetheart. I’ll try.”
Stephanie laid her head against his chest and started to drift. “I’ll miss you while you’re gone.” The tour was starting back up and he was leaving. Tomorrow.
He pressed his lips to her forehead, feeling her breathing start to even out. He closed his eyes. “I’m not going anywhere.”
