Chapter 18

Richie paced from one side of his office to the other. With his hands in his pockets, he stared blindly out the window. Am I really going to do this? After 30+ years, am I really going to walk away from them and start all over again?

He paced back to the far side of the room. You know it’s what you’ve wanted for a while now. Besides, it’s become one big, monotonous machine. You have little to no creativity, no room to grow anymore. You’ve topped out. Where else is there to go if you stay?

He sighed and paced back to the windows. You basically have no say in much of anything. You’ll never be your own boss if you stay. You’ll always have someone making your decisions for you. You’ll always be at someone else’s beck and call.

He turned to move back and saw his baby girl standing in the doorway, the purple, sparkly band of mickey ears perched haphazardly on her head, several books in her arms. He had to smile. She loved her stories. “Hey baby girl, what are you doing in here?’

She grinned, flashing her dimples at him as she marched across the room to him, “read me” she insisted.

He scooped her up, “where’s your mama?” he asked as he settled them on the sofa.

“Store.” She handed him one of the books, “this one, pease?’

Digging his glasses out of his shirt pocket he glanced at the cover. Sofia the First: Holiday in Enchancia. He practically knew this one by heart. “Santa” had brought it and it had been a favorite ever since. He got through that one, Beauty and the Beast and was halfway through Cinderella when she slumped against him. He glanced down to find her asleep, her head resting heavily against his chest. He closed the book and eased her up to his shoulder before standing and heading out to put her in her bed.

Easing the band of ears from her head, he laid her gently on her bed and tugged up a light blanket. Giving her a kiss he backed out of the room, watching her for a moment before partially closing the door.

How many more of these moments do you want to miss. She’ll be a teenager like Ava before you know it. And Ava will be graduating and going off to college by the time you’re done with this go round. How much more of their lives are you willing to miss?

He turned and headed down the hall, more determined now. He didn’t want to miss any more of his daughters’ lives. He’d done enough. It was time. He reached into his pocket and swore. His phone was in his office.

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Stephanie pulled her Camaro into the garage, surprised she hadn’t heard from Richie while she had been out. She was later than planned and hoped she hadn’t missed him. Not that he would leave without saying goodbye, but time had gotten away from her. She pulled her phone out and, nope, no missed calls or texts. Weird she thought as pushed open the door from the garage. Laughter greeted her as she moved past the laundry room and closer to the kitchen.

She had expected to find him, bags packed and ready to go, only waiting on her to say goodbye. She was surprised to see him sprawled with Lily on the floor of the living room just beyond the kitchen, pink and purple Legos spread out all around them, and the two of them laughing like loons.

She paused at the edge of the room, surveying the wreckage. “What did I miss, what’s so funny?”

They looked up at her simultaneously, matching grins and dimples on their faces. “Daddy stormed castle and boomed it up.”

She looked at Richie, the question clear on her face. “Boomed it up?”

He pushed at the blocks to clear a space and, with a not-so-quiet groan, climbed to his feet.  “There was a raid on the castle, chaos ensued and well, there may have been an explosion or two. It was close, but there was no loss of life.”  He glanced over his shoulder and one of the Lego people was in a couple of pieces. “One of them lost a limb, but he should have been more careful.”

She could only shake her head in amusement. Her husband was as much of a child as her three-year old at times. “And is there an excavation crew coming to clean up the mess?”

Richie grinned and crouched back down, “come on Lily, let’s get the bucket and clear away the debris.”

“What’s ‘bris, daddy?” She dumped a couple of blocks in the bucket.

He held up a handful, “the blocks, baby girl. Let’s clean up the mess.”

When all the blocks were back in the bucket Lily toddled off with them to her play room. Stephanie looked after her wistfully. She’d miss their joined laughter while he was away.

“Are you packed and ready to go?” A glance at the clock on the wall told her it was just about time for him to be heading to the airport.

He took her hand and led her down the hall to his office. “No” he told her as he closed the door.

“No?  What do you mean no?” Confusion was clear in her voice.

“I’m not going anywhere, Sweetheart.”

What was he talking about? “I don’t understand. You have a show tonight in Calgary, what do you mean you’re not going anywhere?”

He took her hand and tugged her toward the couch, “sit down, Sweetheart.”

She did and then she stood again as his words sank in, fearful she understood more than she really wanted to. “No, I don’t want to sit. And what do you mean you’re not going anywhere? What did you do?”

They stared at each other across the ottoman in front of the sofa. “I’m not going to Calgary or anywhere else for a while.  I'm done with the band.”

Her heart dropped to her stomach. “Done?”

He tucked his hands in his pockets, “that’s what I said, I’m done. It was time for me to step back and be here with you and the girls. I can’t be out there with the band anymore.”

“But…” Stephanie shook her head, still trying to grasp what he was saying. He was leaving Bon Jovi.

He. Was. Leaving. Bon Jovi.

Holy shit.

She looked at him, he wasn’t kidding. This was no joke. He was absolutely serious. “Why?”

“Because it’s time. Because I’m not excited about being out on the road and playing that music anymore. Because I want to see Lily go off to pre-school. Because I want to see Ava graduate high school. Because I want to sleep in the same bed with my wife every night. Because I have other music in me that I won’t get to make if I stay with the band.” There were a million other reasons, but he hoped she got the point.

She moved around the ottoman, coming to stand in front of him. “Are you sure about this?”

“I’ve been mulling it over since before we got married, Sweetheart. I’m ready to move on, move forward, make new music.” Not that he hated what he played night after night, but it got old and it was starting to feel stale.

She stared at him for a long moment, remembering all the times he had seemed introspective or lost in thought. Every time she had asked him if he wanted to talk and he said no. All the time he spent scribbling in the notebook she had grown to hate on their honeymoon. His excitement at meeting Orianthi and the songs they had been working on together. Had it all been leading to this? And why hadn’t he talked to her about it before making this life changing decision?

“Did meeting Orianthi have anything to do with this decision?”

His eyes widened, he hadn’t expected that. “She wasn’t the driving factor, but working with her lit a new fire in me to branch out and try new things.” He wasn’t going to deny the obvious.

“Is this what you were struggling with on our wedding night, and all those times you didn’t want to talk to me about whatever it was going on in your head on our honeymoon?”

She could read him so well at times, it was kind of scary. “Yeah. I was heading in this direction and wasn’t totally sure what I was going to do. That’s why I didn’t talk to you. I didn’t know what I was going to do at that point. Now I do. And I’m not making this decision lightly.”

No, she could see that. He had put more than a little thought into this decision. “Can I ask one more question?”

He reached out, took her hand, he needed that connection with her. “Ask as many as you want, Sweetheart.”

“How did Jon take the news?’ His best friend of more than 30 years could not have been happy with this decision, especially not with the tour still going forward.

He braced himself for the backlash. “I haven’t talked to Jon.”

“WHAT?!” She pulled her hand from his, turning away from him then whirling back, her hair flying around her. “How could you NOT talk to him about this?! How do you NOT talk to your boss, for all intents and purposes, about walking away from your job?!”

Richie stepped toward her and stopped when she took a step back, “he’s in show mode right now, in his routine. I called and talked to Paul. Besides, Jon’s not my boss.”

“Really?” She shook her head, he always forgot she was a fan. “I’ve been a fan as long as there has been a band, Rich. I’ve heard the stories, read the interviews. I know whose name is on the recording contract.”

He opened his mouth to deny, but closed it again. Dammit he kept forgetting she was a fan and she was right, he couldn’t deny it. “So.”

“So?!” She lifted her eyes to the ceiling searching for the patience she wasn’t feeling at the moment. Lowering them, she pressed her fingers to her temples to rub at the headache that was brewing. She closed her eyes and took a breath to calm down. She stepped closer to him and took his hand again.

“Even setting the whole boss thing aside for a minute, for the last 30 years you’ve been his right-hand man. He’s your best friend. They, Jon, David and Tico, hell even Huey, they’re the closest you have to brothers. How do you make a decision like this and NOT talk to them?”