Chapter 27

I want you he had told her and yet, she reached for him and his side of the bed was cold.  Again.  What the hell?  Shoving back the blankets Stephanie got out of the bed and pulled on her robe.  This shit has got to stop she mumbled to herself as she made her way out of the room.  If he truly meant what he said, why had he not made it up to bed?

They had resolved so much earlier she thought.  The day had been practically perfect after they found their footing.  Their calendars were mostly in sync, they had a plan going forward, though it had been made in pencil so changes and alterations could be made.  They had even set a plan in motion to take a family trip once Ava was done with school.  She had been thrilled with that announcement at dinner.  And Lily had been over the moon happy to have her daddy play with her and take over her bedtime routine.  Even if it ended up being for only a night, at least Lily had had her father’s undivided attention for that time.

A loud sigh escaped her.  So why was she wandering the house in the middle of the night to find her husband?

Rounding the corner from the stairs she paused, the music floated to her from down the hall.  The soft strumming of the guitar and low tone of his voice drew her closer.  At least he wasn’t crashed out on the couch again.  She stopped at the door and watched, waited.  He had one bare foot propped on the ottoman in front of him and his head rested against the back of the couch.  His notebook sat open next to him, the pencil lay askew on the page.  He strummed idly now, his eyes closed. 

And seeing him like this, the irritation that had driven her to go searching for him in the middle of the night disappeared as if it had never been.  She was reminded again of the man she had married, the man to whom music was as essential as breathing.  The corner of her mouth kicked up with a hint of a smile.  He always seemed happiest and the most at peace with a guitar in his hands.  

Shifting, he opened his eyes and lowered his gaze, catching a familiar bit of pink as he eyes slid to his notebook.

“Sweetheart, what are you doing down here?” 

“I could ask you the same question” she replied from her spot at the door.  When he didn’t say anything she moved into the room.  “Rich?”

He scribbled something in his notebook and closed it before setting the guitar aside as well.  “I was working, writing.”

She nodded and moved to sit on the ottoman.  “Do you even know what time it is?”

He shook his head, he knew it must be late, but he had no idea how long he had been noodling around in here.  A glance down at his phone told him it was later than he thought and he’d been at it longer than he intended. 

Chagrined, one side of his mouth kicked up and a single dimple flashed, “sorry, darlin’.  I lost track of the time.”

“it’s okay” she murmured.  Even after all they had talked about today, here and now, seeing him so caught up, she found it near impossible to be upset with him.  He was a musician, an artist and they never knew when inspiration would hit.  She was just going to have to learn to go with the flow when the music wrapped itself around him hung on with an iron grip.  This was the life she had signed on for, for better or worse.

Reaching for her hands he pulled them to his lips, kissing the backs of them.  “I should have been paying better attention to the time.”

Pulling one of her hands from his, she pressed her fingers to his lips, “it doesn’t matter.”  She shook her head for emphasis.  “Every time I see you so lost in what you’re doing it reminds me why I’ve always been drawn to you and Jon--well not him anymore--but what you do, where you go when you play, it’s, God, I can’t even find the words to describe it.  You have such passion for what you do, when you’re in that place where nothing and no one matters, that’s where the magic happens.”  That was also why she tried so hard to not be upset with being last on his list of priorities lately.  But as much as she knew he had an inexplicable need to do what he did, she had needs too.

“Magic?”  This was the first time he could recall that she openly talked about the fan side of her.  He had always been curious but she never seemed to want to talk about it.  He was intrigued and didn’t want to discourage her from talking.

She moved in on him, wrapping herself around him and settling on his lap.  “I’ve been a fan for a very long time and there are certain performances that stick out for me more than others.  The very first one that comes to mind is MTV, you and Jon front and center, acoustic guitars in hand.  The way you two played and sang together, the connection that the two of you had, that was the magic.  You have a rare gift and if you need to be here with your guitar and notebook instead of in bed with me, well, I’m not going to stand in your way.”

His hands gripped her hips and his gaze locked with hers, “but earlier you said…”

“I know what I said” she interrupted him, “and you still need to be better about managing your time, but I can’t stop you from being who you are.”

“Oh” he eyed her carefully, “and just who am I?”

A slow, sexy smile curved her lips, “Richie Sambora, guitar play extraordinaire.”

He shook his head even as he turned and tipped her off his lap and she landed on her back on the couch.  “You got that wrong darlin’.”  He knelt over her, his fingers loosening the tie on her belt.  “I’m Richie, your horny husband.”  He spread her robe open, taking in the picture she made in her lacy sleep tank and boy shorts.  His cock appreciated the view and made itself known by nearly strangling itself trying to get out of his pants.  He popped the button open on his pants to give himself a little relief even as he stroked the lacy edge of her panties.  “It’s been a while darlin’.”

She nodded her head, “too long.”  She angled up and pulled the robe off and reached for the hem of her tank, “you know we have a perfectly good bed upstairs.”  She paused and watched him unbutton his shirt, “a very large bed.”

“We can use the bed for the second round.  Right now,” he tossed his shirt aside and tugged at her panties, “I want my mouth on you.”  His eyes met hers.  "Now."

She lifted her hips and he slid the underwear away. Who was she to argue?

Chapter 26

The house was quiet when she walked in. She left her running shoes by the door in the mudroom and padded to the kitchen. She was standing at the sink, looking out the sipping from a second bottle of water when Richie came up behind her and rested his hands on her shoulders.

“Why don’t you go shower and I’ll make you something to eat?” He stroked the nape of her neck lightly with this thumbs, dipping lower, to stroke along the first few tics of her spine.

Even as goosebumps rose on her skin at his light touch, she turned, “where is everybody? Why is it so quiet?” After weeks of voices and music floating around, the house seemed almost tomb-like today. Even Lily was quiet. “Where’s Lily?” She asked, trying to keep the panic out of her voice.

His hands slid up and down her arms, “relax Sweetheart, Lily is with Ava and Jenna and I sent everyone else home. We have the entire place to ourselves today.”

She lifted hopeful eyes to his, “really?”

“Yes, really” he nodded. “I think we need to talk, don’t you?”

“Yeah, I guess we do” she agreed. She pressed her lips to his in a light kiss. “I’ll take you up on that offer of breakfast too.” She gave him a quick smile before turning to head out of the kitchen.

“How do you want your eggs” he called after her.

“Over easy, with an English muffin, please and thanks.” She jogged up the stairs, aiming for the quickest shower she could manage.

Twenty minutes later she wandered back into the kitchen. Richie was just setting their plates on the counter at the breakfast bar. “Looks good, thanks.”

He looked up and his eyes traveled up to her face and down to her bare feet. She looked good. Her eyes were clear, her hair was still slightly damp as it curled over her shoulders and down her back. She wore just a simple t-shirt and jeans that hung a little loose on her hips. The fact that her eyes edged closer to brown than green told him something was just slightly off with her though. “You look like you’ve lost a little weight there Sweetheart.”

She tugged at her jeans before she sat down. She had noticed that herself when she got dressed. Where she had once had curves, she was now leaner, her muscles were tighter, more defined. Her jeans were fitting a little looser these days. “I noticed that too. Must be from all the running I’ve been doing lately.” Her little stress relieving hobby hand turned into an unbreakable habit.

He settled on the stool next to her, “good thing I made you three eggs then. You don’t need to be losing any more weight.” He liked her curves and didn’t want her losing any more of them.

Her eyes widened when she glanced down at her plate, “I may not gain weight, but I don’t want to have a heart attack either.”

“The eggs won’t kill you, Sweetheart. Eat up.”

They chatted about everything and nothing while they ate. Lily’s latest antics, local news, the weather for crying out loud. This is where she had feared they were headed. Where they had once talked about anything and everything, now they were reduced to news tidbits and the weather. Not good. She pushed her plate away, she couldn’t go through this again. Once had been more than enough. Slipping from the stool she rounded the island, scraped the remnants into the garbage and put her plate in the dishwasher. Grabbing her tea she leaned over the counter and caught Richie’s eye, “are we going to talk about the real issue here or are we going to continue to comment about how pretty a day it is outside?”

Without a word, Richie put his fork on his plate and stood, copying her motions of putting his things in the dishwasher before grabbing his coffee and taking her hand, “why don’t we go outside and enjoy the pretty day while we talk?” He led her out of the kitchen, through the sliding glass door and onto the patio.

“Tell me what’s going on in that head of yours, sweetheart” he urged as the wicker chairs creaked and groaned while they settled in. If he had to guess, he’d bet his entire portfolio that she was having a hard time adjusting to his schedule and all the people that have been traipsing in and out of the house of late, but he wasn’t 100% on that.

Setting her tea on the table between them, she leaned forward. “First and foremost, I want you to know that I have no problem with the writing and making of music that is going on in this house.” She caught his eye, “honestly, I don’t.” It was as much a part of who he was as his eye color or his shoe size. It just was.

He set his coffee mug down next to her cup. Good thing he didn’t make that bet. He’d be broke and homeless. “Then what is the problem?”

She stood and moved to the edge of the overhang where shadow met sun, staring at the sparkling still water of the pool. “Time, Rich. Time is my problem.”

He angled around to look at her, she sounded so distant, so sad. “Time?”

She turned to look at him, “the busier you got and the more people you had coming in and out had me taking on more hours and projects with Habitat. We’re both so busy now that we have no time for each other or the girls.” The mom guilt weighed heavily now that she actually said the words out loud. She was neglecting Lily and Ava and that was not acceptable.

Moving back to her chair, she sat down again. “Do you realize this is the first conversation we’ve had in nearly a week that’s been more than ‘good morning’ or ‘hey, how are you?’?”

Richie frowned, that couldn’t be right, could it?

“You haven’t even made it to bed for the last three or four nights.” And that stung nearly as much as coming in second on his planner to working and playing with Orianthi.

“I guess I didn’t realize…” he trailed off. That wasn’t quite the truth. He had been finding it easier to just crash on the couch after his friends left rather than making the effort to get himself up the stairs and into their bed. He felt less guilty about all the time he was spending with Ori and the guys if he avoided the obvious. And yet, here they were smack dab in the middle of it. He mentally berated himself. Idiot. Some plan.

“And I overheard you talking about touring this summer?” She continued on wanting to get everything out and on the table before they started figuring out how to fix this mess. “Were you going to mention it to me before you packed your suitcase and guitar to head to the airport?”

He opened his mouth to interrupt, but she rolled right over him.

“And forget about me for a minute, what about Ava and Lily?”

“What about them?”

“Correct me if I’m wrong, but didn’t you leave your other job - she still had a hard time reconciling the fact that he was no longer in Bon Jovi - to spend more time with your family?”

“Yeah, and?”

“And?” Her voice rose with frustration. “When was the last time you spent any time with either of them? I know Ava’s old enough to understand your schedule and not be all that upset that you’re not spending time with her, but Lily’s not.” She left herself out of the equation once again.

His frown deepened. He had been so wrapped up in his own thing he had effectively blocked everything else out. Fuck.

“That’s what I thought” she murmured at the look on his face. “You haven’t been thinking of anything or anyone else at all.” She narrowed her eyes at him. “Have you?”

“It’s not that,” he tried to explain.

“Then what is it?” She countered.

He quirked an eyebrow at her. “Are you going to let me talk or are you going to keep interrupting me?”

“Sorry.” She picked up her tea and sipped, “please continue.”

He had to remember that she hadn’t been around for this before. She had seen only a tiny fraction of what the writing and recording process had been with him and Jon and it wasn’t anything like what he was doing now. He studied her for a long moment, thinking about everything she had said.

“Well” she prompted, setting her now cold tea on the table. Pulling her hand back, her bracelet skimmed across the glass top, the charms jangling as they went. She re-situated it on her wrist and waited.

His gaze shifted to her wrist and the bracelet there, landing on the charm he had given her after their trip to Disneyland with the girls. That was after he tried to put the music ahead of his family the first time. He had asked her then to believe and here he was fucking things up again. He had promised to do better and, looking back, he had not lived up to his word. Not by a long shot.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart.” He reached over and took her hand. “Apparently, my time management skills need some serious work.” He lifted her hand and touched the Mickey and Minnie charm. “The girls deserve better” he raised his eyes to hers, “you deserve better.”

She studied his face for a moment, still so boyishly handsome with just a hint of the dimples waiting to break free at the first smile. The band around her heart loosened a little. They would get back on even ground she was sure of it. Pulling her hand from his, she stood and rounded the table, taking the seat next to him. Curling her leg under her, she angled toward him. “So, how are we going to fix this?”

He pulled out his phone and held out his hand, “give me your phone.”

She dug it out of her pocket and placed it in his outstretched hand, “what are you going to do?”

He opened both phones and found the calendar apps on each. “I’m going to sync our calendars for starters. That way we’ll know what the other is doing and when there are places we need to be or if the girls have anything going on that we need to be at. Then I think it’s time I hired a new assistant, at least part time.” He hadn’t had anyone since he let Denise go and maybe it was time to find someone new. He didn’t need anyone on a full time basis, but just a few hours a week should help keep him on track.

“Okay” Stephanie agreed. “And I’m going to cut way back with Habitat. I thought about giving it up entirely, but I just can’t do that. So I’m going to let them know that I’m only available a couple days a week for a while.”

He handed her back her phone, “you sure about that? I know how much you enjoy that work.”

“I’m sure. As much as I love it, I love you and the girls more. And Lily, at least, needs me here more than I need to be there.”

As morning shifted into early afternoon, they talked and worked out the bulk of their issues. There was just one thing that was Stephanie was still stuck on and when they circled back to the music, she couldn’t ignore it any longer. But she wasn’t quite sure how to bring it up without sounding like she was accusing him of something.

Richie had been going on about some of the songs they were working on and how good a player Orianthi was when he noticed the look that crossed her face. “What?”

Stephanie furrowed her brow, “what ‘what?’”

“What was that look for?”

“What look?”

He reached out and lightly stroked the space between her eyebrows. “You got all wrinkly here and you look like you just sucked on a lemon.”

Her pursed lips turned into a frown. “I have to ask you a question and I KNOW you’re not going to like it.”

“Just ask Sweetheart.” How bad could it be?

“Okay, here goes, but just remember, you told me to ask.”

He chuckled and waved her on, “ask already.”

“Is there something going on between you and Orianthi that I should know about?” She closed her eyes and prayed for the answer she desperately wanted to hear.

Richie’s eyebrows rose to his hairline. He wasn’t sure what she had been wanting to ask, but it hadn’t been that. He waited until she opened her eyes to say anything. “Are you asking me if I’m cheating on you?” He paused, “with her?”

She just nodded her head.

“Come here.” Taking her hand he tugged her over and on to his lap. “Have I done something to put that thought in your head?”

“No…maybe…not really…” she sighed. “I don’t know.” He didn’t answer the question and she squirmed and tried to get up.

“Uh uh, you stay right here, sweetheart.” He tightened his grip, “now why don’t you tell me what put that thought in your head.”

Her fingers walked up the button placket of his shirt, pausing to scratch lightly at the patch of skin showing at his chest. “It wasn’t any one thing, but mostly its how you are with her.” She kept her gaze on her fingers, afraid to look up at him as she talked. “You’re always with her, and you look at her like you look at me. Or at least the way you used to look at me. It’s been a awhile since we were in the same room together for longer than two minutes.”

Pulling her hands from his chest he brought them to his lips and kissed the backs of them, lingering right above her wedding set. “You see this?” He angled her hand so she could see her ring.

She nodded.

“I liked it enough to put a ring on it” he aimed for a bit of levity with the Beyonce reference.

Stephanie smirked. “Nice.”

“Seriously Sweetheart, you have nothing to worry about with me and Ori. I’m having fun and learning to be a better player from her and we have a musical connection like I can’t explain, but that’s it.” Looking at her face he could still see a shadow of doubt. He re-situated her on his lap so she was straddling him, “I don’t want her.” He pressed his hips up to meet hers. “I want you.”

Chapter 25

Sand flew up behind her, sticking to her legs as she ran on the hard-packed sand at the edge where the water was just out of reach.  Her heart pounded, keeping tempo with the pounding of her feet.  When her app indicated she had hit the two mile mark, she pushed for another mile.  Running had become her alone time, her clear-her-head-and-keep-her-sane time, her escape from everything.  Her pace wouldn’t win her any races, but that didn’t matter.  Slow and steady was her mantra most days, and there was nothing quite like an early morning run on a nearly deserted southern California beach to start her day. 

At the three-mile mark she turned, heading back the way she came, moving slightly higher on the sand, where the tide wouldn’t roll over the tops of her shoes.  Trying to outrun the last few weeks, she pushed harder before finally slowing down, easing into a walk the closer she got to her starting point.   When she got to where she had left her blanket, towel and water bottle she stopped, bending forward to rest her hands on her knees.  She drew in a deep breath and let it out.  She did it again.  Reaching for the blanket she spread it out and dropped to sit, her legs spread wide as she bent over one then the other, stretching out her rapidly cooling muscles. 

Drawing her legs into the butterfly position, she pressed on her knees and leaned forward before moving into child’s pose for a final stretch.  Sitting up she found her water bottle and drank down half of it as she stared out at endless expanse of the Pacific Ocean.

The ocean breeze ruffled her ponytail and she picked up the towel and wiped the sweat off the back of her neck and her chest.  The weeks since they’d been back from Kentucky had been beyond crazy.  She had been working on three different habitat projects and Richie was working non-stop it seemed.  He had even instituted a new “open door” policy at the house.  She never knew just who was going to be coming or going at any given time of the day.  Or night for that matter.   There was always someone in their house, be it musician, producer, songwriter or the delivery guy from whatever take out place they ordered from.

A car door slammed somewhere behind her. 

And it felt like she and Richie hadn’t spent any significant time together since the weekend at the Derby.  He hadn’t even made it to bed in the last few nights.  They were like two ships passing in the hallways.  She frowned and finished her water, dropping the bottle to the blanket.  It wasn’t the first time she had dealt with this.  When Mark had been alive, they had worked different shifts, her days, him evenings.  It worked out when Ben had been a baby, but it took a toll on their marriage.  After a lot of hard work and long talks, she and Mark had found their footing again, and then...

And now Richie was working all kinds of crazy hours and she had heard talk of possibly touring, taking the music to the fans after they released the EP.

Realistically she knew he wasn’t ignoring her, not on purpose anyway.  But when he didn’t come to bed at night, when they didn’t have a real conversation beyond “good morning” and/or “good night” she had to wonder if she was really enough for him.  She had nothing to offer him musically except for her ears.  She knew what sounded good to her and knew what she liked, but other than that, she had nothing. She didn’t play an instrument, definitely did not sing unless she was alone in the car and she didn’t write unless it was the grocery list, so how could she be what he needed?

And what about Orianthi?  She had seen them together, laughing, writing, singing.  Their heads together working out the finer details of different songs.  She hated that she was jealous of the time that woman was getting with Richie.  She wasn’t a jealous person by nature.  But there was just something in the way the two of them were when they were together that continued to rub her the wrong way.

She huffed out a breath, hating the turn her thoughts had taken.  But the doubts that had only been niggling whispers early on in their relationship had become full-blown worries in the last few weeks.  She had been able to tune out the whispers, but as much as she had tried, she hadn’t been able to outrun the worry.  Dragging in a deep breath she held it for a brief count of three and released it on a resolution. 

She sat up straighter, the hair at the back of her neck bristled.  She could feel eyes on her.  Standing, she shook out the blanket and haphazardly folded it before grabbing the towel and empty bottle.  When she straightened she found Richie watching her from the opening in the concrete barricade.  She didn’t say anything, just watched him watching her.

He moved through the opening, moving toward her, not stopping until the tips of his shoes touched the toes of her sneakers.  “I thought I might find you here.”  When he hadn’t found her in their room or in their exercise room, he hadn’t hesitated in driving here to find her.  She was a creature of habit about certain things.

It wasn’t like she had been hiding from him.  “Yep, you found me.”  She was kind of surprised he had come looking for her.   They had been doing their own thing so much lately she wasn’t sure he even knew she had left the house that morning.

With his thumb and forefinger he lifted her chin, bringing her eyes up to meet his.  Seeing her witchy eyes more brown than green unnerved him.  He knew what that meant and he didn’t like it.  “What’s wrong, sweetheart?”

She was tempted to say nothing, to keep things on an even keel for him, but she was tired.  Tired of feeling like this.  “I miss you.”  She felt her eyes mist and damned herself for letting her emotions get that close to the surface.

Pulling his fingers from her chin, he wrapped his arms around her and dragged her against him, holding her tight. He had to keep reminding himself that she was new to this side of his life. Things would get better, they would get better he told himself as he held her, because he sure as hell didn’t want them to get any worse.

Chapter 24

Silvery moonlight filtered through the opening where the drapes didn’t quite come together across the wide window.  Her straw hat lay on the desk next to his overturned Stetson.  Her dress and his jacket were draped haphazardly over the chair in the corner.  The rest of their clothes made a messy trail from the door to the bed.   They were lying crosswise on the bed, pulses racing, hearts pounding, like the hoof-beats of the horses that had run around the track just hours earlier.  Richie’s horse, the one he had put money on, California Chrome, had won the Derby and their celebration had carried over from Churchill Downs to their hotel room.

Stephanie rolled over, her body slick with perspiration, her hair a mangled mess from their frantic love making.  “Holy shit, Rich.”  She heaved in a breath and blew it out.  “Where did you…how did you…she sucked in another breath.  Just Holy.  Shit.”

“You okay there, darlin’?  You’re repeating yourself” Richie half chuckled, half mumbled with his face still buried under the pillows. 

“I lost some brain cells that time, I’m sure of it.”

Richie pulled the pillow from his head and rolled to look at her, “four orgasms too many for you, darlin’?”

Levering up on her elbows, she shook her head, pins from her no-longer-up do falling to the mattress, “not complaining, but four in rapid succession like that could kill a girl.”  Tossing her hair back she found his eyes with hers, “and just where did you learn to do that little trick with your tongue?”

He smirked and shook his head, “uh uh, not telling.”

She stuck her tongue out at him and playfully pouted, “meanie.”

Shifting closer, he stroked his hand up the inside of her thigh, “trust me, you don’t really want to know.”  He may have spent most of the 80s with one or more different women after each show and he definitely learned a thing or two, but he wasn’t about to go into details of that time with his wife.  Even if she was a fan and probably knew some of the stories, certain things were still better left unsaid.

He moved over her and settled between her thighs, “I can do it again” he wiggled his tongue at her, “practice makes perfect, you know.”

She laughed and pulled her knees up, knowing she would let him have his way with her.  She glanced down when her foot caught in the sheets, “hey,” she wiggled her foot to free it, “I still have my shoes on.”

Reaching for her ankle, he gently tugged the sexy peep toe stiletto from her foot and dropped it over the side of the bed.  Its mate soon followed with a soft thud, “I like the shoes” he murmured as he skimmed his lips up the inside of her leg and nibbling her thigh. 

“Why do you think I wear them?”  She managed to get out before his oh-so-talented tongue was on her and she was lost in a sea of sensation.

Later, sated and satisfied, they crawled to the top of the bed and pulled the blankets up.  She curled into him, sleep dragging at her.  “Love you, Rich.”

He wrapped himself around her, kissing her head, “love you too, darlin’.” 

YYYYYYYY

It was unusual for him to be awake and out of bed first, but the music tugged at him until he couldn’t ignore it.  He left her sleeping, pulling on loose cotton pants and settling on the couch.  His fingers moved swiftly across the page of his notebook, scribbling down his thoughts as quickly as they came to him.

The quiet strumming of the guitar and the low timbre voice teased her awake.  Keeping her eyes closed, she rolled over and hugged his pillow, just listening. 

First time we met, I must confess
That my heart was like an empty house
But the keys locked in my head
I will bide my time of need
You became my miracle
And my reason to believe
When the waves get rough
We can fall back on us
We'll be together
Forever all the way

Setting down his pencil, he started strumming, keeping his voice low and trying to work out the melody he could hear so clearly in his head. 

When we look back
At the landscape of our lives
There were moments that stood still for us
Like a Snapshot of our minds
There were things we could have done
Maybe wounds left unsaved
Still we kept our promise shining
And our passion in our bed

Moving closer to the edge of the bed, she strained to hear the words he was singing.  She loved listening to him like this, when he was unaware and lost in the moment. 

And when the waves get rough
We know that we've got us
I don't make many promises
But I'm promising you, yeah.

When there's no words left to say
Our love will find a way
We'll be together
Forever all the way

When she heard the guitar go quiet, she slipped out of bed, pulled her robe around her and snuck out to the couch.  She greeted him with a quiet “hey” not wanting to startle him.

Looking up he put the pencil down and set aside his guitar, “hey yourself sweetheart.”  He held out his hand to her, “come here.”

She moved to him, taking his hand, letting him pull her down on to the couch next to him.  “You’re up early.”

He shifted behind her and tucked his chin to her shoulder, nuzzling her neck.  “Couldn’t sleep, a song was brewing so I came out here to get it down.  Sorry I woke you.”

She turned her head, catching his lips with hers.  “Don’t apologize.  I love listening to you play and sing.  And I like what you’ve got so far.”

“Yeah?”

She nodded, “yeah.”

“Me too.”  His lips found hers again, the emotions stirred by the song translated to a long, slow kiss.  He let his feelings lead him, his fingers deftly loosening the tie on her robe, skimming over her, easing her back, down against the cushions.

There was no urgency this morning, no need to rush, just a powerful indescribable need to have her, to take her, to be surrounded by her.  He took his time, tasting her here, touching her there, pushing her to the brink before finally, finally burying himself inside her. 

Bracing himself on his elbows above her, he stared down at her.  “Open your eyes, darlin’.”

The witchy eyes he loved so much blinked and slowly opened, the green there nearly overtaken by the pupil dilated with desire.  “There’s my girl.”  He slowly pumped his hips, watching her face.  Her pretty lips dropped open and a small cry escaped as her muscles contracted around him.  “That’s right darlin’, let go, just let go.”  He kept his thrusts slow and controlled, prolonging their pleasure; and when she broke apart under him, he was helpless to do anything but join her.

Curled together she idly ran her fingertips up and down his arm.  She didn’t want to move.  If it wasn’t for the fact that they had to retrieve their daughter from her grandmother, she’d be happy to stay right here in the circle of his arms for the rest of forever. 

She sighed.

Richie squeezed her tight and looked down at her, “what’s wrong, sweetheart?”

“This weekend has been wonderful.  I almost hate to leave.”  The Derby had been more fun and exciting that she could have imagined.  The race itself the most exciting two minutes in sports that she could remember, but it was what had transpired in this room that she was most sad to leave.

“We can always come back next year.”  He pressed his lips to the crown of her head.

She frowned up at him, “you’re going to make me wait a whole year for a weekend like this again?”

His eyebrows furrowed together, “well the Derby only comes once a year, darlin’.”

Her hand snaked around and she pinched his butt before pushing him onto his back and straddling him.  “I wasn’t talking about the race.”

He cupped her bottom before sliding his hands up her sides, realization of what she meant dawning on him.  “Ah, I see.”  His hands cupped her breasts, his fingers teasing her nipples to hard points.  “You know we can do this at home too, right?”

She stared down at him, his brown eyes bright with mischief.  It was harder to find time at home now, between Lily, her Habitat projects and him writing and recording again.  She nearly frowned at the thought of him working with Ori.  Why does that woman bother me so much?

She wiggled her hips, trying to ignore the thoughts in her head.  He stirred under her.  “One more time before we have to go?”

He shifted under her, “you don’t know how good you are for my ego, sweetheart, but I’m old, I need more recovery time.”  He rubbed away the frown line between her brows, he didn’t like disappointing her.   One glance at her told him she was more than ready, her nipples were begging for his touch, her skin was flushed and pink, and he could feel her heat and wetness where she sat on his groin.  “Come up here.”  He pulled the pillow from behind his head, dropping it to the floor and wiggled down to lie flat on the couch.

Her eyes widened at his meaning and a sly, sexy smile crossed her face as she moved to straddle his face. 

Grinning when she complied, he peered up at her through her widespread knees, “hold on, darlin’.”

When she felt his tongue on the inside of her thigh, she grabbed the arm of the couch and lost herself to him once again.

Chapter 23

“Come on, Lily” Stephanie held out her hand and grasped Lily’s little fingers.  “Let’s go find daddy and see if he’s ready to go.”  Lily danced alongside her mother as they headed down the hall.  Their suitcases were packed and waiting by the front door.  All they needed was Richie and they could head off to the airport and their flight to New Jersey.  They were dropping Lily off to Richie’s mom before backtracking to Kentucky for the Derby. 

They found Richie in his music room/office on the phone with his trusty notebook open in front of him.  Before Stephanie could stop her, Lily wriggled her fingers out of her mother’s grasp and hurtled herself across the room and into Richie’s lap.  “Daddy!” 

He grunted when one of Lily’s sneaker-clad feet connected with his shin as she climbed up on him.  “I’ll call you later, Ori.”  He hissed out a painful curse when that same shoe connected high on the inside of his thigh as she settled on his lap.  Fuck.  “Take a look at what I sent you and we’ll talk about it later.”  He listened for another minute before disconnecting the call.  He tucked the phone into his shirt pocket with one hand and snagged his pencil with the other before Lily could graffiti all over his notebook.

“It’s time a go, daddy.”  Lily turned her big brown eyes up to her father.  “Time a go plane.”

Stephanie sighed inwardly when she realized who he had been on the phone with.  Why does he talking with that woman bother me so much?  There was just something about him working with, talking to, spending time with Orianthi that just didn’t sit right with her.  She glanced down at Lily sitting on his lap and then back up at him.  She needed to get over it.  They were just working together.  Nothing more. 

She shifted her thoughts, “sorry, I didn’t think you’d still be on the phone.”

Richie waved her off, “no problem.  We were mostly finished anyway.”  He looked down and frowned, Lily had found a pen when he wasn’t looking.  Her scribbles decorated more than one page of his notebook.  He gently pried the writing instrument from her fingers, “daddy, I coloring!”  Her little mouth turned into a pout.  “I not done yet!” 

He tucked the pen, pencil and notebook into his messenger bag.  “Oh yes you are baby girl.  It’s time to go, isn’t it?” he reminded her.

Coloring forgotten, she shifted on his lap and wriggled down, stepping on her father’s sock clad foot in her haste.  “Yea, let’s go!”  She marched across the room toward her mother, “come on mama” she grabbed her mother’s fingers and tried to pull her out the door.  

Stephanie looked at Richie and winced, “are you okay?”

“I’m fine.”  He stood and grabbed his bag, “maybe I’ll let you kiss the bruises better later.”

“Daddy, Mama!”  Lily hollered from the hallway.

Stephanie rolled her eyes and stepped out into the hall, “I’m not kissing your foot.”

He followed close behind, his breath ruffling her hair as he leaned in so little ears couldn’t hear, “I have others that need some TLC.”

Turning, she smothered her laugh and ran her hand teasingly up the inside of his thigh as Lily yelled for them once more.  “I’ll kiss your boo boos later.  But we’d better go now before she screams the house down.”

QQQQQQ

“Sweetheart,” he called toward the bathroom “are you about ready?’”  He slipped his arms into his jacket and shrugged it over his shoulders.  “I don’t want to be late.”  It was Derby Day and he was anxious to get going.  He wanted to get a look at the horses, place his bets and just take in the atmosphere of Churchill Downs.  He was still on a little adrenaline high from last night if he was being honest.  The Barnstable Brown Gala had been last night and he had played to a very enthusiastic crowd before relinquishing his guitar to others to play.  The one-of-a-kind instrument, designed by him, was auctioned off to the highest bidder and raised over $30,000 for diabetes research.  Residual excitement had his fingers fidgeting with the urge to play. 

Stepping in front of the mirror he ran those fidgety digits through his hair and straightened his jacket.  “Sweetheart,” he started again and then stopped when he caught her reflection as she stepped from the bathroom.

She tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear as she moved across the room.  She had wound her hair up in a low bun at her nape and a few rogue strands just didn’t want to cooperate.  “I just need my shoes, and my hat.”

He turned and whistled low, “Once again, darlin’, you look amazing.”  She had stolen his breath last night with her magenta gown and now, with this dress, he was going to be the envy of the Derby.

She stopped in the act of getting her shoes from their bag and turned to look at him. “Thank you.”  The Dolce and Gabbana sheath was everything she had remembered it being when she had tried it on at the store.  “I had a good time shopping for this trip.”

He smiled, flashing his dimples at her.  “I’ll say you did.  I’m glad we’re leaving tomorrow though.  I’m not sure my heart can take another get up like this.”  He took the few steps to close the distance between them.  He skimmed his fingers lightly along her cheek, tucking another stubborn strand of hair behind her ear.  “It’s a shame you put your hair up again though.  You know how I like it all wild and curling around your shoulders.”

She turned her head and pressed her lips against his palm.  “I know you do, but up like this will be better with my hat.” 

Reaching around him she lifted the lid of the hat box and drew out her hat.  In contrast to her dress, the straw hat was white and trimmed with a deep grape/purple organza band and oversized bow.  The black feathers and the fact that the large purple and grape flowers perfectly matched the color of the flowers on her dress had sold her on it.  It might not “match” the dress exactly, but it certainly went “with” the entire look she had put together. 

Stepping around him, she stood in front of the mirror and settled the hat at a slight angle on her head and secured it with a hat pin, an accessory that Jeanine told her was an absolute must have.  Slipping her feet into her black peep toe pumps she turned back, raising her head slightly to peer at him from under the brim of her hat.  “So, do I look Derby ready?”

He reached out and ran his fingertip lightly around the brim of her hat and adjusted it ever so slightly before taking her hand in his.  “I’m not sure I’m Derby ready now, darlin’.  You look incredible.  I think I need to step up my game.”

She smiled and picked up her purse, “you always look good, Rich.  And I think that’s probably my favorite hat of yours.”  In his free hand was his Stetson with the hammered silver band.  It always struck a chord with her.

Settling the hat on his head, he tipped it toward her, “thank you darlin’.”  He offered his harm, “shall we?”

She took his arm, “let’s go.”

Chapter 22

Candlelight flickered around the room.  The scent of roses and lilies mingled with the candles and wafted through the room.  He stood back and studied his handiwork.  It looked pretty damn good if he did say so himself.  He owed her this much, at least, for all he had put her through in the last few weeks.  He had been an ass not only to the band but to her as well and she hadn’t deserved any of it.  Even though he apologized and things seemed to be back on an even keel between them, it couldn’t hurt his cause to spoil her just a little bit.

He crossed to the bathroom and double-checked his work in there.  Music played quietly, the tub was full and a few candles floated in the frothy, steamy water.  More flowers and candles surrounded the tub and a bottle of her favorite wine sat chilling in a bucket on the stand next to the tub.  He rubbed his hands together as he crossed back to the door and out.  Now he just needed to find his wife. 

Stepping into the hallway he caught the missile that was his daughter as she came barreling at him. 

“Daddy!” 

She was always so happy to see him.  It never failed to bring a smile to his face and an extra beat to his heart.

“Baby girl!’ he answered with nearly the same enthusiasm as he scooped her up.  He accepted the smattering of kisses she peppered over his face.  “Where are your clothes” he asked as she laid her head against his shoulder.

She had run from the bathroom and away from her mother and bath time.  “Bafroom” she pointed down the hall toward an open door. 

He nodded and walked down the hall, back the way she had come, “I should have known.”  He found Stephanie in the bathroom shutting the water off after filling the tub.  “I found this naked girl running around out there.”  He set Lily on her feet.  “She says she left her clothes in here.” 

Stephanie helped Lily into the tub, “she took off before I could grab her.”  She looked up at Richie, “she’s too damn fast.”

Richie chuckled.  “that’ll change once she gets older.”  

He took a good look at his wife.  She had put in several hours that day on her latest habitat project, chased after a toddler for the better part of the afternoon, started getting ready for their trip to Kentucky and New Jersey and she had been dealing with his reluctant ass.  It was no wonder she looked a little worn out.  

“Why don’t you let me handle bath and bed time tonight, Sweetheart?”  It was just the opportunity he needed to get her to find his little surprise.

Never one to look a gift horse in the mouth, she looked at Lily, “what do you think Baby Doll?  Do you think Daddy can handle bath and bedtime stories?”

Lily splashed her delight, getting Stephanie’s shirt wet in the process.  “Yay Daddy, he can do it!”

Stephanie laughed and stood, tugging at her wet t-shirt.  “I guess you have your answer, Rich.  Just try not to flood the house.”  She knew full well how much water their daughter could displace from the tub when she got her mermaid on.

Richie took her hand as she made to move by him, “why don’t you go change and relax, Sweetheart?  I’ll come find you when we’re done here.”

Reaching up, she pressed her lips to his, “a glass of wine actually sounds pretty good right now.”  She kissed him again, “thanks.”

Their laughter followed her down the hall and was completely forgotten when she stepped into the bedroom.  “Oh, Richie” she whispered to herself.  She was utterly charmed and enchanted by the setting he had created with the flowers, candles and soft music.  She stopped at her dresser and buried her face in the bouquet of lavender roses he had left there.  Straightening, she smiled softly and pulled her shirt off, so that’s where he had disappeared to after dinner.  He had left to “run an errand” after they had eaten.  He wouldn’t say where and she hadn’t seen or heard him come back.  She glanced around again, now she knew why.  

Sneaky man. 

Stripping off the rest of the clothes she dumped the pile into the hamper and headed to the bathroom.  She stopped in her tracks at the full tub and the wine chilling next to it.  Backtracking to the counter, she picked up an elastic band and bundled her hair up on top of her head before moving back and stepping into the tub.  Pouring a glass of wine, she sank to her chin in the fragrant water and let the heat and steam ease her tired body and mind. 

She sipped and soaked and had nearly dozed off when Richie stepped into the room.   Her eyes traveled the length of him where he stood, leaning against the vanity.  He had changed into his robe, the hem resting just below his knees.  His bare feet were crossed at the ankle and the light smattering of hair on his chest peeked at her from the vee above his crossed arms.  “Did Lily go down okay?”  She licked her lips and set her glass aside.

The heat and steam had put color back in her cheeks and a sheen of sweat shone on her forehead.  A limp curl escaped her messy topknot and trailed along her cheek.  His eyes dipped lower, her bare shoulders were all that he could see for all the bubbles in the tub.  His hands loosened the belt at his waist.  “She was out before Cinderella got her shoe back.”  He slipped his robe off and hung it on the hook on the back of the door.  “Mind if I join you?”

She watched him move around the bathroom and heat that had nothing to do with the bathwater rose in her.  It had been too long since they had been together, too long since she’d had her hands on him and vice versa.  “Sure, come on in.”  She slid forward and he stepped in behind her.

He settled behind her and pulled her back so she was resting against his chest. 

She laid her head on his shoulder and pressed her lips to the side of his neck.  “Thank you for all this” she gestured around them with her hand.  “You know it was unnecessary though, right?”

“Not from my perspective.”  He handed her the wineglass she had abandoned when he had come into the room.  “I fucked up and this is my penance.”

She sipped and nearly snorted, “some penance.  A bubble bath is hardly punishment.”

He chuckled along with her, “maybe not, but I still needed to do something to make things up to you.”  He turned his head and found her lips with his.  “I’m glad you like it.”

Reaching over him, she set her now empty glass on the edge of the tub, “you’re a sneaky man, husband.”

He trailed his fingers up her slick, bubble-covered arm as she settled back against him, “gotta be a little sneaky to get a surprise over on you, darlin’.  You can read me too well and would have known what I was up to.”

His fingers got more brazen as they languished in the tub.  They found their way under the bubbles and he traced light circles around her hardening nipples. 

“Rich” she murmured as she shifted restlessly his fingers never ceasing their circling, his burgeoning erection teasing her from behind.  “Maybe we should get out of the tub?”

He shifted her around in front of him and had her straddle his thighs, “but I like it here” he told her as he palmed a breast, lifting it from the water.  Lowering his head he lightly blew the bubbles away and took the hard tip into his mouth, sucking gently.

Gripping his shoulders, her head dropped back and she groaned, “there’s more room…” her voice trailed off and another groan escaped her as he repeated the delicious torture on her other breast.

Water sloshed over the edge of the tub as they shifted and moved.  She canted her hips and the tip of his cock slid across her center, pausing at her entrance.  Widening her knees she slid lower and he pressed up, filling her in one smooth motion.

Neither moved for a long moment, the feeling of relief, of overwhelming rightness held them on a precarious edge before she lifted and settled back down on his lap.  “Fuck, Rich” she muttered as she moved.

He gripped her hips and pressed his up into her, “fuck, yeah darlin’.” He could feel her muscles surrounding him start to tighten. She was ready to go. He wanted, needed to see her fall. Dipping his head he took her nipple into his mouth again and sucked. He felt her tighten and he pumped his hips harder, letting her take them both over into sweet oblivion.

Chapter 21

Richie let her hands go and stood, pacing away from her and back again.  They knew each other too damn well if she could read him that easily.  How could he describe it to her though?  How could he explain the guilt, the feeling of disappointment he knew would come from talking to Jon?  To any of them?  “I’m not afraid of anything.”

‘You know,” she cocked her head and looked at him, “I think that’s the first time you ever really lied to me.”  She stood and crossed to him, unwilling to keep circling around this issue anymore.  “I’m going to go check on Lily.  When you’re ready to tell me the truth, come find me.”  She stepped around him and reached for the doorknob.

He closed his eyes, huffed out a sigh.  Fuck.  “Wait.”  He had to tell her.  This was becoming a festering thing between them and he hated it.  It was time to lance the boil that this disagreement between them had become before it infected their relationship any further.  And it was on him to do it. 

She paused, “what?”

He ran an agitated hand through his hair.  “I put them through so much shit in the last buncha years.  I just figured the phone call to Paul and an email to Jon would be easier…” he trailed off.

Stephanie didn’t turn from the door, they stood, back to back.  “Easier for who?”

He turned then.  “You don’t know what I put them through, what they did for me.”  When she still didn’t turn, he continued, “you only know what we let you see, Sweetheart.  They never woulda admitted to how big a pain in their asses I was, publicly.  And I was a bigger ass than you can imagine.  The pills, the booze, I let it take over everything.  And they put up with it.  And the times when I was sober enough to really see them?  The disappointment that lurked in their eyes had me hitting the bottle even harder.  

I hated what I was putting them through, but I couldn’t see to get myself out of it.  And the more I told myself I could stop anytime, the more I reckless I became.  And they never wavered.  They all stood by me, true enough, but they were also disappointed in me, in the way I chose to deal with everything and they were right to.  I was so screwed up I could hardly get myself out of bed and dressed without a drink or a pill and a drink to wash it down.” 

He reached out and laid a hand on her shoulder, looking for that little bit of understanding from her.  His rock, his sounding board, his everything.

She turned to face him, eyes drenched, tearstains on her cheeks.  She remembered all too well the Unplugged special they did right as Lost Highway was coming out.  He sat on a stool the entire time, could barely get through the songs.  She still couldn’t re-watch it.  Just the thought of it hurt her now as it had back then.  “As a fan I saw the struggle, the brave face you put on to hide what you were going through.  You weren’t hiding it as well as you may have thought.  We, my friends and I, knew you were hurting and it broke our hearts.  We also know the guys stood by you through all that shit and you turned all that around.  At least we thought you did.”

He dipped his head to find her eyes, “I did for a bit and after a while I figured I was doing well enough I could handle one drink.  Just to be social, you know?  But then one, turned into two, turned into a bottle.  I let them down, again.  I had to leave yet another tour and do another stint in another facility.  You know, you were there for that one.”

She reached out, took his hands, “I know.  I also know that those men would lay down their lives for you, as you would for any one of them. They are the closest thing to brothers you’ve ever had and yet you felt it was okay to just walk away.  They were there for you during the absolute worst time in your life.  You need to face them and their disappointment.  You can’t let it end like this.”

He pulled her close, wrapping his arms around her.  Her tears were killing him. He hated that his words, his choices, made her cry. “You’re right, I know you’re right, it’s just hard for me to swallow all this pride and go back to them, hat in hand and tell them ‘I’m sorry I fucked up’ yet again.  I hate that I keep letting them down.”

She sniffed back her tears, “I have to believe they’ll understand once you explain yourself to them.”

His lips grazed her forehead.  “Once again, you’re probably right.  Does it ever get tiring?”

Amusement danced around her lips, “not in the least.”

He smiled and hugged her tight, “I’m sorry, Sweetheart.”

Drained, she rested her head against his chest, let his heartbeat soothe her.  “It’s not me you have to apologize to.”

“Sure I did.  And I know I have another one to make.  And I will” he added when she raised her eyes to his, “I promise.” 

To lighten the mood, he took her hand and eyed all the bags on the bed again, “will you still be my date for the Derby?”

She followed his gaze, “since I seem to have bought a Derby-worthy wardrobe, I’d be an idiot to say no.”

They left the room together, “but did you get the most important Derby item?”

She mentally ran through her purchases, “most important item?  I guess I’m not sure what you mean.”

They stopped at Lily’s room and peeked in, she was in her bed, surrounded by all her friends, napping peacefully.  Stephanie went in and adjusted her blanket before she and Richie continued down the stairs.

“You had to have bought a hat, right” he asked her as they rounded the corner into the kitchen.  “You can’t go to the Derby and not wear a hat, Sweetheart.”

She laughed and moved across the room to the refrigerator.  “Oh, I got a hat and the most perfect dress for the Derby.  I can’t wait to wear it.”

Richie’s phone chimed, interrupting their banter.  He glanced down at the screen and back up at her.  “It’s Jon.”

“Talk to him Rich.  Get it done.”  She kissed his cheek as she wandered past him to the doors and out to the patio to give him some privacy.

A finger swipe later, Jon’s voice was in his ear. “Hey.”

Richie inhaled deeply and let the breath out, “hey man, got a minute to talk?”